Way of words

2008-10-12T11:00:00.004-04:00

Hineh bah. This is not in the spirit of Yom Kippur, Israel! Didn't you learn anything from atoning? Akko is one of the only places where Jews and Arabs live in harmony. Can we please not ruin that? You make it really hard to be a Zionist when you do this kind of crap.

2008-09-28T10:53:00.002-04:00

Watch me makeup my mind instead of my face. Yet more reasons to despise Palin and feel insulted by McCain's choice of her as running mate.

I think McCain thought that all us Clinton supporters would go "Oh man, she has a uterus! I'm voting for McCain now!" Did he honestly think we wouldn't find out about her politics? Or is she really just a sexy appeasement for the religious right?

2008-07-31T10:24:00.003-04:00

Hit me with your best shot. Big news for Muslim women...maybe.

Apparently there's a new trend in hijab styling, with blogs and YouTube videos advising pious Muslim women on different means of styling their head scarves. To me, this indicates an emphasis on individualism and self-expression, which is definitely positive. However, Muslim women are still trying to individualize a symbol of patriarchy. Nevertheless, progress is progress.

Except when it's clearly not. Iraqi women are literally exploding through the glass ceiling as the newest recruits in al-Qaeda's army of suicide bombers. There have been 24 female suicide bombers since January, and I'm sure the numbers will continue to rise. Part of the woman bomber's appeal is that it is unacceptable for a man to perform a full-body search on a woman, and traditional robes are bulky enough to hide quite a stash of weaponry.

But perhaps the most insidious detail in this story is the means of recruitment. Al-Qaeda operatives marry and allow the wife to be dishonored in some way, such as allowing another man to rape her. Consequently, she must end her life to end the disgrace she has brought upon her family. I cannot even wrap my head around this one.

In every military conflict, women are cannon fodder. Except in this case, women have become the cannon.

2008-06-24T15:55:00.004-04:00

She wants the luxury of her own life. I've blogged about this before, but since nobody listens to me, I'll try again.

Brandeis University released a new study, "Gender Imbalance in American Jewish Life," claiming that in non-Orthodox settings, "American Jewish boys and men have fewer connections to Jews and Judaism in almost every venue and in every age, from school-age children through the adult years....Contemporary liberal American Judaism, although supposedly egalitarian, is visibly and substantially feminized."

Feminized? Apparently the ladies are taking over! In the Reform movement, the largest Jewish religious movement in America, Women outnumber men in seminaries, youth groups, summer programs, and prayer services.

And you should be worried! The Brandeis study argues that "men's decreased interest in Jews and Judaism walks hand in hand with apathy toward creating Jewish households and raising Jewish children." No more Jewish babies! Because the women are taking over!

But fear not! Here come the men-only Brotherhoods, men-only barbecues, dare-devil birthright israel trips, and man-centric Passover Haggadahs. Because HaShem knows that the traditional Passover Hagaddah is really misandry run amok.

Personally, I think you can blame assimilation and the break down of the insular Jewish community for the alleged disappearance of men from the Jewish community. Ideal American manhood is not compatible with stereotypical of Jewish manhood. Who wants to be the nebbishy, wimpy Jewish Other when you can be the wealthy, handsome, sexy American Man who gets to fuck the hot shiksah (think Portnoy's Complaint here). Jewish men don't want to maintain a connection to Judaism, and because Judaism is passed down through the woman, marrying a non-Jew is the ultimate rejection of Judaism.

American Jewish women, on the other hand, are embracing their new and hard-won role in the Jewish community. Gone are the days when Jewish women could be cook and wet nurse but nothing more. American Jewish women don't have to sit behind a mehitzah anymore, and you can't make them!

Says Brandeis: "Some suggest that in the Western world, spirituality, especially in more liberal denominations, has become associated with femininity. Others believe that men are reluctant to join organizations unless they can play leadership roles, and with the entry of large numbers of women into synagogue life, there are fewer such opportunities for men."

The fact of the matter is that there is no inherent gender bias in Judaism. The second class citizenship of women in Judaism has everything to do with culture and nothing to do with religious prescription. Stop blaming women for your religious community not looking the way you want it to when, frankly, every sociologist with his (or her) PhD can tell you that women have always been the key sustainers of religious devotion in times of strife. The sooner men realize that women are not usurping their throne, the happier we'll all be.

2008-06-20T16:09:00.003-04:00

Does that mean my body must always be a source of pain? While the image of First Lady as the pinnacle of American womanhood is nothing new, this re-packaging of Michelle Obama is really pissing me off. The Obama campaign is doing an image makeover on her to make sure she doesn't appear Like Hillary. She co-hosted "The View" and graced the cover of "Us Weekly" doing her best soccer mom impression. Says a friend:

"[Michelle] is not the least bit interested in being a co-president or participating in policy decisions…Her first priority as a first lady would be that the girls are OK, and to continue to be the outstanding mother that she is."

This would be nauseating without the article's headline of "Why Barak loves her." Why? Because she shops at Target, why else? You didn't think it had to do with her accomplishments, her intelligence, or her moxie, did you?

Of course, the campaign has to wrap her up in traditional gender roles precisely because of her talent. A smart, outspoken, accomplished woman is bad enough, but one who is not only African American but who actively embraces her heritage is downright frightening. Consequently, they "soften" her, "maternalize" her, and basically white-wash her. And I do mean "white." She's coming off as a regular June Cleaver with her pearls and her carpool.

In the context of this election cycle, this development is particularly upsetting. Democratic voters were given the option of the most accomplished black presidential candidate ever to campaign or the most accomplished woman presidential candidate ever to campaign. For better or worse, the black man won. But a truckload of sexism accompanies that progressive victory. If the progress of one group of people comes at the expense of another, is it really a success?

2008-06-01T20:31:00.001-04:00

Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry. Today in Disgraced Politician (Celebrity) Sightings:

Eliot Spitzer in Central Park! With special guest star Silda Wall Spitzer! Oh man, was I sitting on a pylon at the right time. I guess Spitzer had just completed a run, and his wife had come to meet him in the park because he was in work out gear and she was dressed for a beach day at the Hamptons. They weren't touching (she actually had her hands in her pockets. Burn!), but they were deep in discussion. My goodness she is a waif, but a waif with style!

2008-05-29T11:49:00.003-04:00

Flex our muscles show them we’re stronger than the rest. I don't know about you, but I love these peek-inside-the-Bush-administration tell-alls by ex-Bush cronies that keep coming out. They make me feel quite vindicated. Former Press Secretary Scott McClellan's is a real treat.

Doesn't this excerpt remind you of a certain Democratic golden boy we all know and love?

Ironically, much of Bush's campaign rhetoric (in 1999-2000) had been aimed at distancing himself from the excesses of Clinton's permanent campaign style of governing. The implicit meaning of Bush's words was that he would bring an end to the perpetual politicking and deep partisan divisions it created. Although Washington could not get enough of the permanent campaign, voters were seemingly eager to move beyond it.

Bush emphasized this sentiment during the campaign. He would "change the tone in Washington." He would be "a uniter, not a divider." He would "restore honor and dignity to the White House." He would govern based on what was right, not what the polls said. He would, in short, replace the cynicism of the 1990s with a new era of civility, decency, and hope.

Yes, we can!

2008-05-09T15:46:00.000-04:00

Give my regards to Broadway. Today in Celebrity Sightings, Broadway Edition:

A two-day spotting. Everyone's using mass transit in the rain, even the Broadway babies.

First off, Andrea Martin of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and "He was...MY BOYFRIEND!" fame, walking through Grand Central. Everyone is so tiny in person, but she had a great head of hair. Those were some gorgeous highlights, let me tell you.

Second, while waiting for the subway at 34th Street, whom did I spy but Richard Kind. You may remember him from "Mad About You" and "Sin City." He's also appeared in a few Broadway shows, notably "The Producers" and "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." This is the second time I've seen him wandering around midtown. My goodness the man is pale.

2008-04-25T21:05:00.006-04:00

Where's your head at. Seriously, Bush Administration. Tax rebates just ain't gonna cut it.

see more hipster robot webcomics and pixel t-shirts

2008-04-16T14:53:00.002-04:00

Like sex on the beaches. How the heck did I miss this? A day celebrating two of my favorite things, and I wasn't paying attention! I guess I have to wait until next year. Boo. I hate waiting.

Link NSFW

2008-04-16T10:03:00.003-04:00

If I'm to run the future, you've got to let the old world go. Women in the United States consider the fact 16% of Congress is female (11% less than female representation in the Afghan parliament) proof that we have achieved gender equity? We really are a bunch of stupid, complacent bitches in that case. If you need Hillary Clinton's campaign to remind you that sexism still exists in this country, I don't think we can be friends.

Wake up, ladies! Women outnumber men in the Spanish cabinet 9 to 8, and Spain's defense minister is seven months pregnant. You're still patting yourselves on the back because a measly 16% of Congressional representation is female? Women make up over half the population of this country. Gender equity my ass.

2008-04-11T16:57:00.004-04:00

Start talking trash and I'll come with my Smith & Wesson. I always knew that Facebook was a threat to morality, but it turns out it's also a threat to national security.

Online networking. Don't play that game.

2008-04-10T11:33:00.005-04:00

I'm coming slow but speeding. I must be pretty desperate if I get excited every time I come across a tidbit where some hard line Christian zealot takes a moderate--or, gasp, even liberal--stance on a hot-button issue. But I think this Newsweek article is actually promising:

[Kansan megachurch pastor Adam] Hamilton wants pro-choice and pro-life advocates to join forces to reduce the number of abortions and he enumerates seven areas where they could find common ground. Let both sides agree that adequate information about birth control can help prevent pregnancy, he says. And let both sides agree that the longer a pregnancy progresses, the more morally problematic an abortion becomes.

I agree! I happily agree! Let's do this!

Then, of course, I find out that my tribesmen are joining the hard line Christian zealot stance on a hot-button issue, and I get all depressed again. A pro-abstinence website for Jewish teens claiming condoms don't work? For shame, Orthodox Union, for shame.

2008-04-10T09:10:00.003-04:00

Don't cut out my paper heart. Two things got me through first semester of my senior year of college: My friend Ike (Hi, Ike!) and Stone Temple Pilots. I think I was too young and oblivious in the early '90s to realize that STP got a lot of flack for not being as cool as Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but Scott Weiland's howling on "Tripping on a Whole in a Paper Cup" really made me feel better when I was down. It's sort of a odd choice for comfort, but it worked for me.

I just read a fabulous piece about the enduring awesomeness of STP, and I had to share it with you. Steve Hyden doesn't mention this, but the video for "Sour Girl," in my opinion, is really powerful. Weiland's eyes at sunrise? Swoon! Also, that song scares the crap out of me. But that's another story.

2008-04-09T14:21:00.005-04:00

In my Barbie world. Ugh, I think part of me just died after reading this. Read up to the third paragraph on the first page, and you'll see why.

Have we as a society learned nothing from JonBenet Ramsey? Let your children be children, you freaks!

2008-04-09T09:11:00.001-04:00

What you wish for won't come true. For the record, my quarterlife crisis won me a scholarship. Booyah!

Other people aren't so lucky.

2008-04-02T15:44:00.001-04:00

In her kiss, I taste the revolution. I don't usually like to bestow more attention on these sorts of hate-mongers than is absolutely necessary, but this recent Rush Limbaugh ramble is absolutely priceless:

"You have to understand the mindset of a lot of these feminists and women...These women have paid their dues. They've been married two or three times; they've had two or three abortions; they've done everything that feminism asked them to do. They have cut men out of their lives; they have devoted themselves to causes and careers. And this — the candidacy of Hillary Clinton — is the culmination of all of these women's efforts."

I can't even be bothered to criticize this. It's just too damn funny.

Jezebel gives an equally good ramble in response, citing their "audacious hope that, one day, we can get past this silly paradigm you created in your head when some feminist didn't want to sleep with you because she had 'cut men out of her life.'" It's a little too easy to say that men hate feminists because feminists won't sleep with them, but wouldn't it be fantastic if that's all it was about? All you had to do was go back in time and get Susan B. Anthony to marry that random dude she rejected and Voila! Women would have gotten the vote 40 years earlier (We can't blame Elizabeth Cady Stanton for this because she was married. Also, I'm pretty sure she did not have two or three abortions).

2008-03-31T09:09:00.003-04:00

I was a long time coming. It's my blog's five year anniversary!

Talk about committment. Jeez.

I haven't decided yet how I want to "celebrate," so check back here for updates on this "momentous" occasion.

2008-03-20T11:16:00.003-04:00

That just my baby daddy. You don't get a lot of marriage advocacy going on these days outside of the Religious Right, but here's a controversial suggestion from Emily Yoffe: Get married, then have babies. Wow!

The rate of out-of-wedlock births among women 23 to 29 is now higher than the teen pregnancy rate. Yoffe argues that women who find themselves pregnant and don't marry the father are putting themselves and their children at a disadvantage both economically and psychologically. Part of what contributes to this problem is the lack of foresight and committment displayed by both men and women. Some of it is a class issue: College-educated men and women are significantly less likely to get divorced than their high school-educated peers.

I would take this a step further and say that a big part of this problem is that people do not use contraception. Whether it's because of a lack of affordable and available family planning services, lack of proper sex education, or discouragment from their social and religious communities, women aren't choosing to protect themselves. Consequently, the rate of unplanned pregnancies among poor women rose 44% from 1994 to 2001.

The problem isn't that people aren't getting married. The problem is that people won't buy condoms. Honestly, I know they're not so comfortable, but it's so much cheaper to buy a bunch of condoms than to raise a kid.

2008-03-19T13:08:00.003-04:00

It's freezing in the corner of my mind. There's been a lot of man-hating going on in the wake of the Spitzer scandal. It seems like every woman who writes a blog or talks to you at the gym has used this as an opportunity to spew some serious anti-man vitriol. Really, I think that the Spitzer scandal is just a catalyst for releasing women's pent-up romantic anger. Of course, women are also upset because the governor of New York committed a crime and everything that entails, but there's a personal level to it as well.

To speak in generalities, I think that women look at Silda Spitzer and see themselves in past relationships: They were deceived, mistreated, taken for granted, and in some cases cheated on while they stood by being loving and supportive. Case in point: Silda is a phenomenally talented and beautiful woman, and her husband chose to fuck uneducated whores from New Jersey. To most women, this simply does not make sense. Most talented women who have been treated like doormats by men find their lovers' actions incomprehensible, and Spitzer's decisions are no exception. Modern women posses all the characteristics that are socially valued in men--intelligence, education, ambition, earning potential--as well as the feminine virtues of beauty and warmth, AND YET this sort of shit happens.

I do think that men are the problem. Most of the women I know have managed to find a balance between the masculine and feminine virtues, yet men seem more laddish than ever. You can say that our society is hopelessly Puritanical, and that's why Spitzer's shenanigans are being so derided, but I disagree. I think that women simply refuse to accept this sort of behavior anymore and are more vocal about their shock and disgust. Or maybe women simply haven't learned to accept that men are callous and selfish creatures who will always disappoint them and treat them like trash.

Here's where you go wrong, boys. It's time to grow up.

2008-03-07T13:47:00.002-05:00

They don't know it but I'm here to stay. In your face, crappy Lilith article! According to a new Elle/msnbc.com study (my college mentor helped with the research. Pride!), men don't care if their wives make more money. In fact, just 12 percent of men surveyed said they'd mind if their wife earned more than they do, and in general men seemed happy to share the breadwinner role. Furthermore, of the approximately 75 percent of men whose wives did work, only 5 percent wished she was at home because they are "irritated by a wife who is frequently bored or boring."

Huzzah for womanity! I feel there is hope for us smart, ambitious ladies afterall!

2008-02-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

Waste me. The Guardian has a really interesting/disturbing commentary about "misogyny psychosis"--the violent, psychopathic hatred of women. Apparently Britain's been experiencing a rash of vomit-inducing violent crimes against women. This goes beyond domestic violence or rape. This is scary Jack the Ripper shit. Even more disturbing and upsetting than the individual acts of violence is the fact that friends, co-workers, lovers, even the police, knew what these guys were up to and did NOTHING. Makes you want to enact that Good Samaritan law from the last episode of "Seinfeld," doesn't it?

Who needs a drink?

2008-02-26T22:09:00.000-05:00

Now that the love is gone. Do guys really talk like this? And if so, why haven't I met any who do?

2008-02-26T20:17:00.006-05:00

She didn't want to, he had his way. Let's all give Israel a hearty round of applause. You let your president get away with rape. Good for you, Israeli government. Have cigar.

I spent a lot of time and energy while in Israel working with the organizations trying to combat this disgusting plea bargain, so I'm especially angry. Thankfully, I'm not alone in that.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll spell it out for you: Imagine that George Bush raped his secretary while president, plus a few other women while he was governor of Texas. They can't prove that he raped the other women, but they have a really good case against him about his secretary. However, under the law, while president, Bush cannot be charged with any criminal action. So he sits around the White House greeting foreign dignitaries and living off your tax dollars in the lap of luxury while Congress debates whether or not he should be impeached; they decide against this. Eventually, Bush resigns and charges in the rape case are brought against him. Meanwhile, the secretary is being subjected to the most disgusting, brutal, and insulting investigation imaginable, being forced to answer questions right down to the minute detail of her sexual proclivities. The Attorney General decides to plea bargain the case, and all Bush has to do is admit that he acted inappropriately and probably committed a few acts of sexual harassment. He will serve no jail time, and he still gets to keep his personal driver and assistant and probably his security detail (paid for with your tax dollars, of course), but he has to give up his pension (they have socialized health care in Israel, so we'll take that out of the equation). The country attends protest rallies in record numbers, and the Supreme Court weighs in on the validity of the plea bargain. In the end, Bush gets away with it and all he has to do is pay his secretary $14,000.

If you do not think this is a complete abomination, you have no soul.

2008-02-26T16:33:00.002-05:00

Candelabra's lighted. All my misanthropy and disillusionment neatly and articulately presented, courtesy of Ms. Austen:

"There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and everyday confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense."
-Pride & Prejudice, Volume 2, Chapter 1

It is amazing how little human nature changes. I've finally gotten around to reading Emma, and though the circumstances and social conventions are different, the reactions, motivations, and emotions exhibited by the central characters are completely relatable. You'd hope that human beings would have matured by now, but apparently not. Instead, we've just gotten rid of all the social graces and made the subtext the text. In other words, you can say any disgusting thing you want to anyone, especially on the Internet, and you won't be shunned from polite society because polite society no longer exists (no matter what "Vogue" or "New York" or the British aristocracy would have you believe). I'm glad I am not required to wear a corset, but does that mean we all have to talk like sailors?

2008-02-25T17:06:00.003-05:00

Gotta find me somebody. Yet more thoughts on this whole wacky world of dating. Salad bars are the way to go. Apparently you can win friends with salad.

Ever wonder what it'd be like if the men of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" had online dating profiles? Me neither, but thank goodness someone did.

2008-02-25T00:02:00.004-05:00

Endless tears, forever joy. This video changed my life:

J'étais dans l'apart de Raoul et Sandro, et j'ai entendu cette chanson qui chant mon âme. Dans ce moment, j'ai compris que je ne suis pas de tout seule dans la douleur de coeur et le désir pour quelque chose non réalisé. Et, peux en peux, je me suis senti mieux.

2008-02-22T14:17:00.009-05:00

It takes a strong man to stand by a strong woman. This season's Lilith has an interesting/frightening report on online dating and the single Jewish woman. Basically, men don't want serious relationships until they're in their 30s, which is when they start trying to pick up 20-something women. But women in their 20s are too focused on their careers to notice, so Jewish women don't get married. Yay! I have to say, on some level, this article is a complete condemnation of Jewish women. It paints us as hopelessly self-involved and uneducated about how to successfully form and nurture romantic attachments. There is a slight mention that men also contribute to the marriage shortage because the Internet allows them to stay single indefinitely (Why settle down when there's a whole catalogue of women to pursue?), but mostly the blame is placed on women not knowing what they want or how to go about getting it.

I think this may be an accurate portrayal of some women (I actually know middle-aged women who are like this); there are women who stay stuck in the same dead-end patterns of finding a mate because they focus on superficial details instead of substantive qualities. But the part of this that scares me is the hopelessness of the situation. For example, according to the article, men don't like women who are smarter or more ambitious and/or successful than they are. Great. As a highly-educated, ambitious woman, what am I supposed to do? Have a lobotomy? Not go to graduate school? Why is it always incumbent upon women to change--to dumb themselves down or sex themselves up--so as not to threaten the oh-so-delicate menfolk?

The article does make a good point: Women spend too much time in unpromising situations (I, for one, am extremely guilty of this). Women (and men) also tend to value the appearance of a relationship--What is his career? How much does he make?--and not how the relationship feels or how you interact. But I can't get over of the terrifying thought that, even if you don't care about these sorts of things, you're still doomed because men are babies. What's a girl to do, aside from date 30 year-olds?

Alright Internet, here's my list of adjectives (in no particular order) which, when strung together, hopefully describe an actual person: Practicing Jew, college-educated, stable, laid-back, communicative, understanding, good listener, non-smoker, driven, kind, funny, smart, patient, attentive, affectionate, self-confident, self-aware, engaging, feminist a huge plus. I don't care about career or income or taste in music or how close he is with his family or any of that malarkey, though I probably wouldn't have the patience to date an actor or a model. If it's not too much to ask, I'd also like it if he was at least 5'10", had a full head of dark hair, and a beard (I really like beards). And since I'm fantasizing anyway, I request Matthew Macfadyen as Mr. Darcy, but Jewish.

2008-02-22T13:58:00.002-05:00

Spins a web, any size. Who knew that Spider-man was such a sex-positive, Planned Parenthood enthusiast? Marvel would be castrated for doing something like that now.

2008-02-17T11:43:00.000-05:00

Sunny day. Cutest thing EVER!!!! Squeal!

2008-02-15T14:15:00.002-05:00

Bow to his daughter-in-law elect. Aw, you guys! I want one!

2008-02-14T09:32:00.004-05:00

You want one true lover with a thousand kisses. Happy V-day, all! Does any holiday provoke as much angst as Valentine's Day? All that anxiety about finding a mate or pleasing your current mate, and the disappointment when none of it works out, can make you want to hide under your bed with a Whitman's Sampler and wait for it all to go away. Apparently, this is when people are at their most aggressive when trying to find a mate/date/one-night stand. No one wants to be alone on Valentine's Day. Except me; I really don't care. Why? Because I would rather be single on V-day than desperately trying to wrangle a date or convince my beau to romance me. Fuck it, I'll take the Whitman's Sampler and a good book over that kind of stress, thanks very much.

Also, I'm glad I'm not tangling with this type of bullshit. So funny! So pathetic! Hurrah for St. Valentine!

2008-02-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

White teeth are uglier than yellow teeth. It's amazing that our health care system has reduced us to "medical tourism." Inexplicably, it is cheaper to fly to Hungary or Costa Rica for dental procedures than to go around the corner. Either American dentists charge outrageous prices, or the economy and health care industry are in worse shape than anyone wants to admit. Either way, this is shameful, even if it is an impressive display of multi-tasking.

2008-02-05T17:01:00.000-05:00

Happier now than I’ve been in the past. I don't usually commend Newsweek, but this is a fantastic, compelling article about the happiness-at-all-costs movement. As someone who tends to have melancholic nature and has received a lifetime's worth of flak for it, I think that this article speaks to many things I have experienced in my own life. When I'm at my most euphoric, I often make my worst mistakes. But even though my sadness is trenchant, I know it isn't permanent. I could babble on, but I won't. Just read the article.

2008-02-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

We're not the ones who're meant to follow. Happy Super Tuesday, everyone! There's a great interview with a candidate you didn't even know was running for president on Jezebel today. Mike Gravel is too much of an idealist for me, but everything he says about women's rights and LGBT issues is right on. He also makes a fantastic point for all you power-mongers out there:

If you vote for power over substance, then you won't ever get either. You've got to vote for substance regardless of who you think will win, because you'll see that substance will win out in the end.

For those of you who have yet to vote and don't feel like slogging through months worth of press coverage, make an educated decision with the League of Women Voter's nonpartisan primary guide.

Get the full primary scorecard here.

And remember, you lose your right to complain if you don't vote!

2008-02-03T21:16:00.000-05:00

If you had no money I'd give you my last dime. I realize that probably no one cares about this, but it's my blog so ha! I just found out that That Dog, the best band you've never heard of, made a video for "Never Say Never" many moons ago. Holy crap! This is what happens when you grow up without MTV--you miss everything. Check it out. It's such a hypercolor blast from the past.

2008-02-01T12:23:00.001-05:00

What it feels like for a girl. Man oh man, Super Tuesday is gonna be one hell of a nailbiter. I offer you some very exciting words for the future of the country and the Democratic Party courtesy of Hillary Clinton (And read this article for some great commentary):

"I would, with all due respect, say that the United States government is much more than a business," Clinton began. "It is a trust. It is the most complicated organization, but it is not out to make a profit. It is out to help the American people. It is about (what we do) to stand up for our values and to do what we should at home and around the world to keep faith with who we are as a country. With all due respect, we have a president who basically ran as the 'CEO/MBA President' and look what we got! I am not too happy about the results."

The most amazing thing about all of this, I think, is that people are really taking her seriously. There has never been a female candidate for president than anyone was willing to pay attention to. In fact, there has never been a female candidate or a minority candidate that anyone was willing to pay attention to. Yet here we have two non-traditional presidential candidates who are not only attractive candidates in their own right, but they beat out the white guy to boot. For the most part, people are paying attention to the mssage and not the stereotypes and really conflicted about who will make the better president. How remarkable that two underdogs can come out on top.

This is such an exciting time!

2008-01-31T15:21:00.001-05:00

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt. Please Lord, don't let this happen again. Please. Haven't we suffered enough?

2008-01-31T13:08:00.000-05:00

If you were suspicious, all that shit is ficticious. I don't know where I've been lately, but I've missed way too many offensive pop culture trends. Usually I'm the first one to pick up on these things, but it seems I am hopelessly behind the times.

Apparently there is a lot of hating on Jewish women going on that I simply haven't been paying attention to. Jezebel provides a comprehensive rant about the fetishization of Jewish Men and points out that their sexy female counterparts get no love. Word, people. Why do we hold on to that self-hating, spread-by-Philip Roth, nagging Jewish mother stereotype or that money-spending, frigid JAP stereotype? And why is it that the only nice thing Jewish men can say about us is that we give good head? Find a new theme!

To put it generally, as Judaism is passed through the mother, Jewish women tie men to the religion and the culture. As Jewishness is often seen as indicative of weakness, untrustworthiness, impotence, and unattractiveness in Western society, Jewish men must denegrate their female counterparts in order to thrive. Considering that the main tenant of Judaism is to marry another Jew and have lots of tiny Jewish babies, if you don't marry a Jewish woman, you're rejecting your Jewishness. I realize this is a controversial statement, and I'm not attacking Jewish men who date non-Jews. I'm pointing out that the subtext of anti-Jewish women propaganda is, in essence, a denegration of Judaism itself. This Boston Globe op-ed says the same thing with a lot less theoretical mumbo-jumbo.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I refuse to be valued solely on the merits of deep-throating. I refuse to be defined by some archaic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, self-hating stereotype designed simply so that Jewish men can fuck shiksas and not feel bad about it. Unlike some people, I do not suffer from an identity crisis.

2008-01-25T16:59:00.000-05:00

You can see me, you can squeeze me. Things have been so serious lately on TL Live! what with rampant misogyny and presidential primaries and Jake Ryan that I thought I would bring some levity to your life by alerting you to this little gem. Not only does it poke fun at men's magazines, but it also reveals all the secrets of LadyTown. Me and my mythical fallopian tubes are still chuckling.

2008-01-25T16:10:00.000-05:00

Hush little baby, don't say a word. Holy crap, y'all. I need to take a nap after this scathing review of the year of the "Abortion-Not." I've tried to ignore this trend towards yay pregnancy! in recent films partially because these movies would have no plot without pregnancy, but also because I generally think Hollywood is stupid and banal. I do not rely on Hollywood to offer me intelligent social critiques. Shocking, I know. But there's been so much uproar lately that I guess I'll have to get off my high horse and pay attention:

There can be no female agency in Knocked Up, Waitress, and Juno—not because they are comedies, but because, in each scenario, unwanted pregnancy is the joke played (by God?) on the female lead. As the most successful of the preg protags, she who is Knocked Up is necessarily the most smacked down—the glass ceiling turns out to be Alison's own uterus. Jenna and Juno are less formidable, but unexpected fertility mocks their dreams of autonomy. All three are taught their place by their own bodies—and what's more, they learn to like it.

The Village Voice just punched me in the face.

2008-01-24T16:29:00.000-05:00

I don't care if you really care as long as you don't go. Yay! Another reason why dating is so perilous! As someone who is not so good at saying "Next," I can relate. Any of my friends will tell you that I accept way too much bad behavior as worth the price of admission. Though, I must admit, it scares me a bit that you can get dumped for no more legitimate reason than your basic existence irritating your partner. It makes me feel entirely awkward and destructively self-reflective. Boo. That said, I'm still having a blast.

Also, if you liked that article, may I recommend Jezebel's truly fantastic and hilarious series Crap Email from a Dude, in which real ladies send in real emails from real douchebags. The idea is that, contrary to social stereotypes, women aren't the only crazies out there because voila le bullshit from the mens.

So happy to be single, people!

2008-01-18T13:38:00.001-05:00

I'll be always falling. Thanks to the Daily Intelligencer, I have stumbled upon the most hilarious and most upsetting article ever written about a pop culture phenomenon I didn't know about. Apparently I have been immune to Jake Ryan worship all these years, and I had no idea that there were so many women out there pining over this (For those of you who don't remember Jake, here's a nice YouTube tribute for you). Ladies, let's be honest: Jake Ryan doesn't have much of a personality. I agree that he's extremely kind and considerate, but my goodness is he wooden. What would you talk to him about besides beer, gym class, or his porsche? This is why I also don't agree with the Daily Intel's take on Dan Humphrey as the new Jake Ryan because Dan Humphrey, while also extremely kind and considerate, is so fucking self-righteous and faux-superior that I want to smack him off his high horse every time he opens his mouth.

Then again, I never was the girl fantasizing about prince charming. So, I leave it to all of you to pine and moon, and I'll be the cynic at the back of the bar.

2008-01-17T13:00:00.000-05:00

Will there always be concerts where women are raped? If the New York Times is trying to get into my pants, it's working. In addition to the previously-cited article about male narcissism, there's Bob Herbert's fantastic op-ed about the detrimental effects of the nation's love affair with misogyny.

Say what you will about Hillary Clinton's campaign, but you've got to admit that all this discussion about gender in America is absolutely priceless and long overdue. Even if the only thing her candidacy accomplishes is hearty debate, I'll still be grateful.

2008-01-15T13:16:00.000-05:00

Do you believe there's anything beyond troll-guy reality? Thanks, New York Times! Can we have more articles that deconstruct the selfish, heinous, inexplicably socially acceptable things men do? Pretty please with sugar on top?!

2008-01-08T15:26:00.001-05:00

I am matching the big boys one for one. In this New York Times op-ed, Gloria Steinam explains what I've been saying about the Obama-Clinton struggle this entire campaign season, only much more articulately. To wit:

I’m supporting Senator Clinton because like Senator Obama she has community organizing experience, but she also has more years in the Senate, an unprecedented eight years of on-the-job training in the White House, no masculinity to prove, the potential to tap a huge reservoir of this country’s talent by her example, and now even the courage to break the no-tears rule. I’m not opposing Mr. Obama; if he’s the nominee, I’ll volunteer....

But what worries me is that he is seen as unifying by his race while she is seen as divisive by her sex.

What worries me is that she is accused of “playing the gender card” when citing the old boys’ club, while he is seen as unifying by citing civil rights confrontations.

What worries me is that male Iowa voters were seen as gender-free when supporting their own, while female voters were seen as biased if they did and disloyal if they didn’t.

What worries me is that reporters ignore Mr. Obama’s dependence on the old — for instance, the frequent campaign comparisons to John F. Kennedy — while not challenging the slander that her progressive policies are part of the Washington status quo.

What worries me is that some women, perhaps especially younger ones, hope to deny or escape the sexual caste system; thus Iowa women over 50 and 60, who disproportionately supported Senator Clinton, proved once again that women are the one group that grows more radical with age.

This country can no longer afford to choose our leaders from a talent pool limited by sex, race, money, powerful fathers and paper degrees. It’s time to take equal pride in breaking all the barriers. We have to be able to say: “I’m supporting her because she’ll be a great president and because she’s a woman.”

Sing it!

2008-01-07T10:48:00.000-05:00

The teddy bears have their picnic. Holy crap, pandas!

2008-01-03T15:06:00.000-05:00

Make them boys go crazy. Happy Caucus Day, everyone! Here's a funny little snippet from a New York Times article about the plethora of attractive Democratic candidates:

Instead of the usual voter complaints about choosing among unattractive options, there are meditative conversations about Senator Barack Obama’s freshness versus Gov. Bill Richardson’s international résumé versus John Edwards’s commitment to the underprivileged versus the historic prospect of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton’s becoming the first female president.

That's the only good thing they can think to say about Clinton? That's all she's got, a uterus? Really?! Apparently there's no historic significance in the prospect of Obama's becoming the first black president. He has a penis, so therefore we can talk about other issues.

2007-12-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

They’re writing songs of love, but not for me. There's a funny little moment in this Vanity Fair article about Michelle Obama where a Democratic activist tries to bash Hillary Clinton by Taking It Personally:

"I trust Michelle to tell you how it is, good or bad," says one longtime Democratic activist at an Obama event in New Hampshire. "But I don't trust Hillary to tell me the truth, and I don't want to deal with all the history of Bill's infidelity. Why didn't she kick his ass out? I know many women who would be voting for her if she had kicked him out." She scowls, and then confides that her own unfaithful husband left her with two children and another on the way. "I don't need Hillary's baggage," she says. "I've got enough of my own."

Are you really going to elect the next president based on the dynamics of his or her married life? I mean, that rules out Giuliani, Clinton, McCain, Thompson, and Biden right there. That's not too bad if you're a Democrat because you can still vote for Obama, Edwards or Richardson, but if you're a Republican you get to chose between Romney, Paul or (dear Lord) Huckabee. There's got to be a better criteria for presidential competency than marital harmony. Not to say that infidelity is excusable, but I'm not going to label FDR as a bad president just because he couldn't keep it in his pants.

Maybe sobbing over a copy of Heartburn would make her feel better? Those rescipes probably make for good comfort food.

2007-12-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

The number one must have is that we are safe. I can't believe how messed up this is, but I am actually creating my first (and hopefully last) Rape Round-up. Apparently the gods of female exploitation have been working overtime for the Holidays as I have read three high-profile news items on egregious incidents of sexual assault today alone. Awesome, men of the world. Way to go.

First, I'm happy to give you another reason to hate Halliburton, the Iraq occupation, and the U.S. government in general. A young Texan woman went over to Iraq to work for Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown & Root, only to be drugged, gang raped, severely beaten, then locked for 24 hours in a shipping container so that she would be unable to seek medical care or contact the authorities. She managed to wrangle a cell phone away from one of the men guarding the container and called her father in Texas, who contacted his local Congressman, who contacted the State Department, and finally she was freed. Conveniently, the rape kit performed by Army medical personnel has disappeared. Over two years after the attack, the Justice Department has still not pressed charges in the case because all government contractors working in the Green Zone--and paid by your tax dollars, don't forget--are effectively beyond the reach of U.S. Law. If this doesn't make you furious, you have no soul.

Next up, we have the billionaire playboy who enjoys travel, casual wear, and massages performed by underage girls. Basically, Jeffrey Epstein paid hundreds of underage girls from the "wrong side of the tracks" in West Palm Beach to massage him naked while he molested them with sex toys or simply had sex with them. Neither Epstein nor the U.S. attorney can figure out how these actions are criminal.

Least you think that this sort of disgusting behavior and willful ignorance is an American problem, our Aussie friends don't seem to get it either. In the case of a 10 year-old Aboriginal girl who was gang raped, none of the nine rapists were given a single day of jail time because the judge found that the girl "probably agreed" to have sex. Apparently the judge--a female judge, no less--has never heard of statutory rape because, the last time I checked, 10 year-olds are not capable of making informed decisions when it comes to sexual intercourse. Not to mention that the victim is developmentally disabled, having been born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Jesus.

Who else needs a drink?

2007-12-07T11:52:00.000-05:00

Let's rock with the tough girls. Bill Moyers Journal had an amazing segment tonight about the effect of new media on politics. Lots of amazing conversation about the rampant misogyny and damaging effects of Hillary Clinton-bashing. Definitely worth watching.

2007-12-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

Love you like a sister always. Here we have a story by a female misogynist. Apparently, after being raped in college in front of a group of frat boys, this woman's sorority "sisters" betrayed her trust and kicked her out of the house. Unfortunately, the author has used this as an excuse to refrain from cultivating female friendships. "Generally I feel a kind of skittish distrust and discomfort when dealing with most women, particularly women in packs," she writes. She sees her sorority's deplorable behavior as part of a larger pattern of women's deceitful nature:

We women swim in shark-infested waters of our own design. Often we don’t have a clue where we stand with one another — socially, as mothers, as colleagues — because we’re at once allies and foes.... How do we help our girls navigate the duplicitous female maze? How do we ensure that they behave authentically, respect humanity over fleeting alliances, and squash the nasty tribal instincts that can inflict lifelong distress?

This article made me seethe because she so easily accepts the stereotype of women as inherently scheming and back-stabbing. Her experience will be seen as genuine; especially because she is highly educated, her opinion has more weight than the countless feminists who have fought this harmful stereotype for decades. Even though she was raped in a structure of female exploitation for men's pleasure, the fact that the frat brothers objected because she was unconscious and later apologized to her somehow frees them from any culpability. To her, men are angels and women demons because of a small pack of terrible human beings.

As a product of a woman's college--an environment which certainly cultivates aggression and competition--I have managed not to be the victim of this acrimonious femininity. Yes, I encountered some painfully spiteful people who effectively voted me off the island, but, unlike the author, I did not let one or two bad experiences label half the population as inherently treacherous.

Did her sorority sisters act reprehensibly? Yes, absolutely, without question. Has she let her early trauma deprive her of meaningful relationships with other women? Yes, absolutely, without question. Does she expect us to believe that she is the lone angel fish in a shark-infested sea? It's certainly possible. Either way, her article furthers the view of woman-as-untrustworthy and does nothing to ensure that either sex "respect humanity."

2007-11-30T15:03:00.000-05:00

Some day my prince will come. Apparently there's been a bit of grumbling about Disney' film, Enchanted. Slate's Dana Stevens complains that the movie uses crass consumerism as a band-aid for life's problems. When in doubt, charge it! But it's not merely the act of spending, it's the "femininity-enhancing, wallet-reducing princess clothes" that are purchased in the film that Stevens finds so worrying. "Does these little girls' happily-ever-after consist only in getting Mommy to buy the right dress?" she asks.

Stevens forgets that every Disney film is merely a marketing venue for their new product line. This subliminal messaging of little girls in pretty dresses is exactly what Disney is banking on to keep its coffers full. Disney has gone princess crazy, manufacturing everything from princess-themed baby-ware to princess salons and high end princess wedding dresses. Every benchmark in the life cycle has been feminized, royalized, and Disneyfied.

But who can blame Disney for capitalizing on consumer trends? As heartbreaking as it may be to dash our childhood illusions of the benevolent visionary creating cartoons with the sole intention of entertaining children, Disney is a notoriously ruthless company willing to brand anything the consumer wants. If there was a call for princess-themed tampons, I'm sure Disney would answer.

I don't necessarily agree that the "ever increasing marketing to younger and younger girls of an adult sexualized version of the princesses is concerning," as Tomi-Ann Roberts, a professor of psychology from Colorado College, says. Like many girls, I went through an intense princess phase where I refused to wear anything but dresses and often went out wearing a tiara. Yes, I was that girl. Yet, somehow, I grew out of it and became the good little feminist you know and love. Even Disney's head of consumer products noted that girls tend to drop the princess brand by age 6.

Furthermore, I don't think that when little girls are playing princess they are playing submission and helplessness. There's a difference between "waiting for your prince to come" and enjoying twirling around in frilly dresses. Though it is telling that Disney has largely ignored the more self-assured (and ethnic) princesses Mulan and Pocahontas to focus its marketing on Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, Belle and Jasmine. Even though it could be argued that Belle and Jasmine were very gutsy characters, and Jasmine was Arab, both exhibit more sexualized characteristics, "with more skin showing and bigger heads, eyes and breasts" as Roberts observes. I do, however, give Disney points for creating the first black princess with the forthcoming Princess Tiana, though I suspect it is just a ploy to attract the African American consumer to Disney products.

When you're a child, you are a big ball of id who wants everything in the toy store. You want to be the princess you see on screen. When we went to the pool in the summer, I used to play Little Mermaid and flip my hair like Ariel. It was only when I grew up that I realized how strange that film is: She wants to give up her whole existence for some cute guy she never even talked to? And how do those darn shells stay in place, anyway? Owning Disney merchandise and pretending to be royalty will not permanently warp children. However, if you don't teach your children the value of money and instead let them think that happiness is only a credit card-swipe away, well, you might end up with a spoiled little princess who grows up to be a debt-ridden adult.

Total uses of the word "princess" in this post: 14

2007-11-30T11:56:00.000-05:00

You've got the money maker. This article really made me laugh. A Chilean prostitute will auction off 27 hours of her services, you know, for the children. She is donating her services to the televised Teleton, Chile's largest fundraising event, which will run for 27 hours this weekend and benefits a disabled children's charity. "Miss Carolina, who charges $300 for a 90-minute session, estimated that she would raise more than $4000." Sorry boys, all her time has already been sold. You'll have to wait until next year's telethon.

I really hope someone makes a documentary about this. Though, I suppose it would be more porn than anything else.

2007-11-29T12:05:00.000-05:00

A bad word for a good thing. Happy birthday to me!

2007-11-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

She walked like a woman and talked like a man. I don't know about you, but I really enjoy judging people based on stereotypes. I especially enjoy it when I get to divide the entire world into two categories--man and woman--and rejoice in 10 super-special characteristics that divide us. So while women are well-groomed and make you excuse yourself after you burp, men kill spiders and have old college t-shirts. Because women don't go to college. Yay!

I, for one, am really glad that my boyfriend keeps me up to date with all the latest gadgets (he doesn't) and that he made the first move (he didn't). In turn, I know he's so happy to have me in his life because, aside from my constant PMS-y mood swings, I keep his social life hopping (from 8,000 miles away, no less. Apparently I am also magical) and one day I will bear him many tiny babies.

See, isn't it fun to compress people's unique qualities to 10 tiny little points of specialness? Stereotypes for everyone!

2007-11-21T11:31:00.001-05:00

I will keep you warm and safe. On top of shoes and bottles of water being serious threats to airport security, now it seems that bras are just as dangerous. I have to agree with the headline that, if lingerie is a threat to national security, we're in big trouble.

I'd like to point out that Israel does not have these bogus airline security protocols because Israel has real airport security.

2007-11-16T10:58:00.000-05:00

I heard her holler, I heard her moan. Giving new meaning to "blaming the victim," a gang-raped Saudi teen is sentenced to 200 lashes and six months in jail. Apparently, she was initially charged with violating the separation of sexes law because she was riding in the car of a non-related man. The court raised her sentence because she went to the media to "influence" the court. Her attackers were sentenced to five years to less-than-a-year in jail.

Basically, a young woman is raped 14 times, dares to raise a raucous and demand justice, and is squarely put back in her place. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

2007-11-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

Culture is what we make it. The ignorance upon which our country's laws currently rest has reared its ugly head once again, this time in the state of Washington. I have heard it said many times that pharmacists should not be forced to dispense medication to which they are ethically opposed. To this I say, tough tushy. As the previously-cited blog post adeptly points out, Plan B does not cause abortion but, rather, prevents conception from occurring in the first place. So, really, if you are morally opposed to abortion, you should probably be a fan of Plan B considering that it prevents the need for an abortion altogether. If you're going to disguise your hubris as morality, you might want to do your homework first.

This debate has been going on for years, with pharmacists insisting that their right to impose their moral values on the rest of us trumps doctor-patient privilege. The fact of the matter is, you holier-than-thou pharmacists, you do not know the reason a doctor has prescribed birth control, nor do you know the reason a woman seeks Plan B. May I remind you that birth control is currently prescribed for everything from acne to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome? And may I remind you that such things as rape and incest might cause a woman to seek an alternative to pregnancy? My point is simply that it is not a pharmacist's place to judge a client; it is their job to check for harmful drug interactions and dispense medication accordingly.

I am all for freedom of religion. Pharmacists can picket abortion clinics and pray for our heathen souls all they want. But they should not have the right to lord their religious values over the rest of us.

2007-11-12T23:05:00.001-05:00

If I wasn't a celebrity would you be so nice to me? Today in A-List Celebrity Sightings:

That's right friends, I finally managed to spot a real, live celeb, replete with paparazzi flashbulbs. Whom did I spot but former boyfriend-stealer Claire Danes strolling down Mercer with her new boyfriend. She was wearing the cutest white cashmere knit cap. I covet, I really do. I'll keep an eye out for the ensuing paparazzi photos; you might be able to see me in the background.

2007-11-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

That girl she holds her head up so high. I am really starting to hate Slate. Did they forget that they are journalists and not pundits? Take this post from XX Factor, Slate's female-written blog, comparing the Bush girls to Chelsea Clinton. Apparently the Bush twins (though only one is mentioned) have better "karma" than Chelsea because Jenna "just published a book called Ana's Story: A Journey of Hope, which chronicles her experiences working with U.N.-sponsored charities in Latin America." If you remember, Ana's Story is absolutely not about Jenna Bush's philanthropy work but a fictional tale of one poor girl's struggle with HIV (Read my critique of this bullshit here).

So, setting aside that Slate is wrong about the details, apparently Chelsea Clinton is selfish, greedy, and morally bankrupt. "She left McKinsey not too long ago to work at a hedge fund." Hmm. No mention of the fact that she recently raised $20 million for the Clinton Foundation? No mention of her work as a board member of the School of American Ballet? No mention of her work with the United Nations? Apparently this NY Times article is full of lies.

It's not that, as her friends say, "financial independence is important" to Chelsea Clinton, while the Bushes are happy to mooch off the family wealth and marry Karl Rove's cronies. Nope. The truth is that "the daughter of two Democrats chases cash while the Bush girls advance liberal causes."

How is it that I am a better fact checker than a journalist for the Washington Post?

2007-11-08T16:24:00.000-05:00

Where is the questioning where is the protest song? A ralling cry for the masses, courtesy of Bill Clinton:

"Do I hope you vote for my wife? You bet I do. It'd be good for America, and good for the world. But, more than that I came here to tell you today, don't you dare let them take this election away from you. This belongs to you."

Hopefully the voting public will listen this time around.

2007-11-08T14:30:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I'm gonna give you all my love in the back seat. More bad news for the Christian Coalition. Yet another study proves abstinence-only sex ed useless. According to the study, "at present there does not exist any strong evidence that any abstinence program delays the initiation of sex, hastens the return to abstinence or reduces the number of sexual partners" among teenagers.

Might want to tell that to the bastion of abstinence-only education, Texas, which now ranks first in the nation with the highest rate of teen pregnancy and the highest rate of repeat teen pregnancy. Oh boy! According to "Another Chance: Preventing Additional Births to Teen Mothers," a publication from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, the birth of an additional child to a teen mother reduces the likelihood she will complete her education or become self-sufficient. "The children of teen mothers are more likely to have reduced educational achievement and behavioral problems — problems that may be explained, in part, by the inadequate education of the mothers themselves or by the poverty and lifestyle of the family."

Just give these people condoms already! What is wrong with you people and your so-called values? Though, the Schadenfreude part of me really thinks these people are getting what they deserve.

2007-11-08T11:01:00.000-05:00

Some folks are born silver spoon in hand. This article makes it sound like President Bush is solely responsible for restoring elections in Pakistan. I'm sure the lawyers' strike and huge rallies had nothing to do with it.

Also, when Bush told Musharraf that "You can't be the president and the head of the military at the same time," did he forget that, as delineated by Article Two of the Constitution, as President he is also Commander in Chief of the armed forces? His stupidity never ceases to amaze me.

In passing, may I point out that, military dictatorships aside, Pakistan has still had a female prime minister. The United States? Not so much.

2007-11-06T16:07:00.001-05:00

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to. Is it just me, or is this Wall Street Journal columnist implying that his daughter is a slut because she didn't demand to be taken to the homecoming dance instead of just hanging out with a group of kids in a basement? Apparently such an action would have put her and her friends at risk of "being dumped for easier girls."

Frankly, I don't think high school kids should date. Why? Because high school kids are morons. Total, complete morons. I include myself in this. I was an absolute moron in high school. I exhibited poor judgement and a lack of self-esteem, and I consequently made ridiculously bad dating decisions. Granted, my college dating experiences weren't much better, but there's a certain level of emotional maturity I had gained by the time I turned 21 which simply was not there at 16.

Yes, parents should teach their sons to respect girls. That's simply a no-brainer. But more importantly, parents should talk to their children about sex--not just the physical dynamics, but the emotional and health risks of sexual activity. Children of both sexes should be taught to respect themselves and their bodies. There is some evidence that delaying sexual activity has positive health benefits. But blaming the declining age of first intercourse, the prevalence of "hook ups," and the lack of homecoming dance attendance on the death of chivalry is simply childish. Teenage boys were just as likely to try to have sex with teenage girls in the 1950s as they are today, whether or not they go to the big dance.

2007-11-06T08:23:00.000-05:00

She blinded me with science. The more liberal our society gets, the more I find myself becoming a prude (I know, I'm as baffled as you are).

I don't know whether to applaud or condemn. On the one hand, I'm glad that American prudery is breaking down enough for people to engage in thoughtful discussions about female anatomy and sexual pleasure. On the other hand, why in the hell is this left up to Tyra Banks, of all people? How do women not know what the urethra is? Furthermore, I really don't need to see a satin vagina puppet. Thanks anyway.

2007-11-01T12:43:00.001-04:00

Watch me make up my mind instead of my face. Enough is enough. Journalists, would you please get over your fascination with Hillary Clinton's supposed gender role-bending and actually evaluate her based on the strength of her ideas instead of the cut of her collar? Have you never met a woman who is composed and intelligent enough to hold her own in a heated debate? Apparently not. Instead, you talk about how she makes for the scariest political Halloween costume or that there's a "toughness backlash" because Clinton is trying to be a manly-girl. Frankly, I don't want a president who's going to get all mushy and blubber about his or her feelings. I've had enough of that, thank you very much.

Maybe you're all just worried because Clinton is kicking Democratic ass in the polls. Maybe you're worried that you might actually have to, you know, respect a woman. Get over yourselves and treat her like any other candidate. Stop expecting her to bake you cookies and read you bedtime stories just because she has a uterus. Hillary Clinton is not your mother. She is a Wellesley College- and Yale Law School-educated, seasoned politician. Get over yourselves and start doing your jobs. Also, start spelling her name right. She spells "Hillary" with two l's, assholes.

(On a side note, I wouldn't be surprised if, assuming Clinton is elected President, the number of rapes increased because of all the "emasculated" men. The same phenomenon happened in the 1980s backlash over the Women's Movement).

2007-10-31T14:12:00.000-04:00

Cuts you up. Break out the pealed grapes and cold spaghetti, we're bobbing for links at this Halloween party:

The Maxim men try to assert their manhood by listing nine of the monsters they think they can beat up. Leave Cookie Monster alone, you brutes!

The Film Experience tries to inspire some costume creativity with ten of the best movie wigs. I bet that Marie Antoinette one would require extremely good posture.

A.V. Club digs up the scariest, silliest, most tooth-rotting dollar store candies around. Gummi pizzas and critter goo? Makes me miss that bacon-chocolate bar.

Cracked prepares for the impending zombie apocalypse. I don't care how likely they think a zombie apocalypse is, nothing is scarier than maggot-infested cheese.

Wikipedia, of all things, scares the crap out of me with an overly-detailed account of premature burial. Such things should only exist in Edgar Allen Poe stories.

2007-10-29T14:49:00.000-04:00

Oh god I love my dirty uncle Sam. Giuliani's New Hampshire radio ad promoting his health insurance plan is making me ill:

"I had prostate cancer, five, six years ago," Giuliani says in the spot. "My chance of surviving prostate cancer, and thank God I was cured of it, in the United States, 82 percent. My chances of surviving prostate cancer in England, only 44 percent under socialized medicine."

First of all, where in the heck did he get these statistics from? And where did he come up with the seemingly arbitrary sums of money that Americans need to "buy" this fantastic, high-quality health care he's talking about?

Any doctor worth his stethoscope will tell you that "delaying or not receiving treatment can lead to serious illness and avoidable health problems" [source]. Giuliani's plan assumes that the average American can afford to plunk down $7,500 on an insurance plan. And somehow, this will magically reduce the cost of health insurance.

The bottom line is that if you're able to afford health insurance in this country like Giuliani can, you won't die. But stupid UK with its comprehensive health insurance will KILL YOU. Hoorah for oligarchical America, where the rich can buy their way to perfect health and the rest of us can die like dogs.

2007-10-25T11:15:00.000-04:00

A heart of stone, a smoking gun. Today in HEINOUS American Pop Culture, Halloween Edition:

Completely inappropriate and demeaning costumes! In the grand American tradition of girls dressing like hookers on Halloween (in some cases, literally), I bring you the latest, greatest, and most heinous ideas yet: Sexy Mental Patient! Oh yeah. Because nothing says "hot" like "involuntary commitment."

If you thought that was bad, you're in for a real treat. Straitjacketed Ella Mental doesn't stand a chance when faced with the super-sexy Anna Rexia. Even I got a little turned on by this one. The thought of yellow or blotchy skin, body hair, tooth decay, early-onset osteoperosis, seizures, and chronic diarreha really gets me in the mood. The tape measure is a nice touch, don't you think?

Unfortunately, this HEINOUS phenomenon is spreading to children's costumes. Major Flirt? No! No, no, no. No.

2007-10-24T17:05:00.000-04:00

Paint myself all red white blue. I'm adding a new category because some sections of pop culture are just too ridiculous and sad to be anything else but HEINOUS!

Today in HEINOUS American Pop Culture:

Let's condemn women for trying to protect themselves! It's not like women in their sixties get mugged or anything. And only hot, young women get raped because rape is actually a compliment, right? Wrong!

2007-10-24T15:49:00.000-04:00

Don't mess with a Missionary Man. I've been sitting on this article for a whole month now, trying to decide what to say about it. I still don't know what to say other than this whole situation just seems wrong. I don't like the idea of religion-for-hire, where you can customize your religion to fit your expectations, completely ignoring thousands of years of theology and tradition. I don't object to intermarriage per se, and I think that most rabbis are horribly narrow-minded on a wide range of topics, but I think that this faux-rabbi business is a downright perversion of something that is essentially sacred and beautiful. People are so used to the customizable modern world where every aspect of life is completely bendable to one's particular vision that they cannot accept it when someone tells them "no." As my friend said, you can do whatever you want, just don't expect the establishment to agree with you.

2007-10-18T17:50:00.000-04:00

Come lie down beside me. Is it just me, or is the sight of seven-year-olds begging their parents to talk to them about abstinence really creepy? I'm all for protecting children from premature exposure to sexual content, but what about the kids in this "public service" ad? You can almost see the director yelling at that six-year-old black girl with the 'fro to annunciate "sexxx." Leave it to the Bush Administration to exploit children in their quest to mobilize the Republican base.

Click here for The A.V. Club's hilarious analysis.

2007-10-18T11:34:00.000-04:00

Worse than you would ever know. I do not agree at all with this article. Anyone who's every studied the Amish or Fundamentalist Mormons can see a serious difference in the function of these two cultures and, consequently, their right to protection by the First Amendment.

The Amish refusal to pay Social Security taxes is balanced by the fact that they, as a group, refuse to accept such governmental aid in the first place. If they are religiously opposed to participating in the tax in any way, then why should they be forced into the system? In contrast, for every $1 Arizona's Fundamentalist Mormons pay in taxes, they receive $8 in government aid--a practice known as "bleeding the beast." Here is a religion that views all non-members as heathenous others who do not deserve their respect or consideration, a far cry from the Amish adherence to the Golden Rule.

Furthermore, Fundamentalist Mormons believe that polygamy is the key to creating Heaven's kingdom on Earth. According to a tract written in 1842 titled The Peace Maker, monogamy is responsible for a litany of crimes such as divorce, adultery, domestic violence, premarital sex, and abortion. Plural marriage, and more importantly the wives' complete and total subservience to her husband's will, is the absolute law of God and will restore order to our corrupt modern society. Girls are brainwashed from birth that their soul purpose on Earth is to marry and produce as many children as possible to serve their husband. As soon as girls hit puberty, they are married off. As they are taught from birth that their obedience is God's will, how can they refuse?

There is an extreme difference in the refusal of the Amish to pay Social Security or allow their children to take high school science versus the rampant statutory rape and domestic violence of the Mormon Fundamentalist community. Considering that taxpayers are financing the fundamentalist' violent life style, how can law enforcement in good conscious ignore and, therefore, tacitly condone this way of life? The First Amendment protects religious practice but it does not sanction violence against others. Reynolds v. United States refused to protect polygamy because "to permit this would be to make the professed doctrines of religious belief superior to the law of the land, and in effect to permit every citizen to become a law unto himself." Unfortunately, this doctrine is not being upheld as it should be.

[All discussion of Mormon Fundamentalism taken from Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer]

2007-10-12T14:55:00.001-04:00

I am the walrus. CNN sent me an article summarizing some reader responses to Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize win. I was expecting the usual Gore- and Clinton-bashing that happens when Gore does, well, anything, but I was surprised by how many people called global warming "junk science." I realize I have a habit of ignoring people who don't agree with me (doesn't everyone?), but this was overwhelming. For as long as I can remember, people have talked about the negative impact of human activity on the globe. I remember learning about this in elementary school. Like the inevitability of the sun one day "dying," the environment, influenced by technology and human excess, was changing. But unlike the sun, I could actually do something to help the world, like recycling or not letting go of my balloon or using public transportation instead of driving.

Apparently, many people did not learn about this in second grade and seem to consider this all bunk. Curious, I decided to uncover the heart of the discrepancy with a visit to the mecca of spun news coverage: FoxNews. Searches for "global warming" and "climate change" uncovered countless Associated Press articles detailing how global warming is melting polar ice and forcing the walrus south and increasing the number of Western wildfires. I couldn't find anything on the FoxNews website which actually proved global warming pseudoscience.

Except for this guy, who enjoys writing about the ridiculous cost of lowering carbon dioxide emissions and how renewable energy will actually ruin the environment. Maybe he's right, though it's hard to trust someone who doesn't believe secondhand smoke causes cancer. But why would he? He was a paid consultant for Philip Morris at the time the article was published.

An editorial in the American Journal of Public Health noted that "... attacking the science underlying difficult public policy decisions with the label of 'junk' has become a common ploy for those opposed to regulation" [Source]. Calling science "junk" or "pseudo" does not make it untrue. It just means that you are unwilling to believe it. Maybe the effect of greenhouse gases on the climate is grossly exaggerated; I'd still rather try to save the walrus than do nothing.

2007-10-12T12:14:00.000-04:00

Poppa don't preach. These Wall Street Journal articles (1) (2) point to a disturbing trend in bogus child sexual assault prevention: Keep men away from children. Not only does this presume women to be incapable of sexual assault (which is certainly not the case), it paints all men as dangerous pedophiles waiting for the opportunity to strike. Limiting male contact with children in every venue--from youth groups to sports to simple hand-holding--reinforces harmful gender stereotypes: Namely, that men are inherently aggressive and uncontrollable.

How are men supposed to become more involved with home and family life if they are not allowed to hug their children? As of 2002, 23% of children under the age of 18 live with only their mother, and children in fatherless homes are at greater risk for various behavioral problems. Depriving children of positive male role models does more harm then good, and you can't protect children all the time, no matter how much you might like to. Of course, one abused child is too many, but forbidding men to have any physical or emotional contact with children is not an effective method of prevention. It simply teaches children that men are inherently evil and deviant, reinforces models of male aggression, and prevents children from interacting with men who defy stereotypes. How do we raise boys to become men who do not act on aggression if we not only refuse to let them interact with positive role models but also tell them they are inherently evil?

2007-10-09T23:29:00.000-04:00

Flap your wings and fly. David Brooks says that I'm normal. I'm so relieved.

Dude, please don't compare my wanderlust to Knocked Up. I don't compare you to Alfred E. Newman, even though I should.

2007-10-08T16:55:00.001-04:00

Radio gaga. Click here to check out the latest in what seems to be a series of bizarre videos of dancing Filipino prisoners. Is this a new twist on prison cruelty or simply a bizarre exercise program? ABC News isn't sure, either.

2007-10-07T23:46:00.000-04:00

And you say why. Today in (Former) A-List Celebrity Sightings:

The exceedingly blonde Matthew Modine outside the Yankees game. He was the most well-dressed person there. Who wears cashmere to a ball game?

Bonus Politician Sightings: Mayor Bloomberg and President of 9/11 Giuliani. Again, I ask, who wears cashmere to a ball game? Someone spilled beer on me from the balcony above. That is not a cashmere-friendly environment.

2007-09-20T08:48:00.000-04:00

Power to the people. I am absolutely flabbergasted that I didn't hear about this sooner, and I had to learn about it through Facebook, of all places. Such a blatant denial of civil rights in this day in this country is absolutely unconscionable. And we thought Jim Crow was dead.

To learn more about the Jena 6 and to join the fight, click here.

2007-09-05T11:31:00.000-04:00

Don't ask me why. How many puff pieces about Hillary Clinton's Wellesley career are going to be printed before the election? I swear I read this New York Times piece months ago in Newsweek or Time or some rival publication. Don't you people have anything else to say?

Is there a better critique of the American media that, when faced with the opportunity to provide analysis or critique, they offer a detailed retelling of her undergraduate career?

2007-09-02T08:53:00.000-04:00

She was afraid to come out in the open. I know I got really mad about this earlier, but Mormon swimwear looks positively slutty next to our Arab friends' preferred beach attire. Those rubber gloves probably don't breath well.

2007-09-02T08:04:00.000-04:00

Tonight everything is over. This was a really exciting week for us liberals, wasn't it? I mean, gay scandals and prominent Republican resignations are like Christmas to me. A gay couple even managed to get married in Iowa, of all places. How exciting!

Of course, this is horrifying to our Republican friends, especially to Mitt Romney, who is probably having flashbacks to his own failure at not being able to stop those pesky homosexuals from obtaining equal rights in Massachusetts. The narrow-minded Mormon had this to say about Iowa:

"The ruling in Iowa today is another example of an activist court and unelected judges trying to redefine marriage and disregard the will of the people as expressed through Iowa's Defense of Marriage Act. This once again highlights the need for a Federal Marriage Amendment to protect the traditional definition of marriage as between one man and one woman."

Okay, Mitt, I don't think you understand what this whole judicial system thing is all about. In the United States, every judge, generally right down to the level of the magistrate, has the power to declare a law unconstitutional and invalid, at least as applied in a particular case. In fact, there's this whole court system so that people can appeal judicial rulings. It's almost like we have a system of checks and balances where the three branches of government (remember those?) are imbued with special powers to limit and shape the others. Also, Mitt, how can you say that the judge wasn't approved by the people? If the judge was appointed and approved by the legislature, which is the same legislature that ratified Iowa's Defense of Marriage Act in the first place, and the same legislature elected and presumably representative of the people, then how come the legislature can ratify an unconstitutional law but cannot approve judicial appointments? I mean, if the same legislators representing the same "will of the people" do two different actions, then how come one is legitimate and the other is a gross insult? Clearly, if a judge is approved by the elected legislature, then he is representing the will of the people. Are you calling the Iowa legislature incompetent? I don't think they'll like that very much.

I don't know about you, but I personally don't feel comfortable supporting a presidential candidate with such a gross lack of understanding of the judicial system.

2007-08-30T03:16:00.000-04:00

I'm gonna be a supermodel. I know this isn't the sort of thing I usually post, but I had a fashion crisis this morning and the advice actually worked. It was so miraculous, I had to share.

2007-08-28T12:54:00.001-04:00

He's got a love song that he made. I'm skeptical, but historians now claim that there is evidence of gay civil unions 600 years ago. Apparently in Medieval Europe, people had more important things to worry about than with whom or what their next door neighbor was having sex. Think of it as an older, muddier form of the Boston Marriage.

2007-08-27T17:36:00.000-04:00

He was a missionary man. I love Ted Haggard. Whenever he shows up, I just know something magical is about to happen. Whether it be in The Protocols of Zion where, upon meeting a Holocaust survivor, he says, "Aww, God Bless You" with the same tone you might use to congratulate a 4th grader on winning the local spelling bee or in Jesus Camp where he spews his sugar-coated invective, I always cheer with Schadenfreude-induced glee. There's nothing better than a hate-monger receiving his gay-prostitution-and-crystal-meth-flavored comeuppance. Good riddance.

However, he's at it again. Old Smoosh-Face wants you to send him and his family money so they can minister to halfway house residents while studying at the University of Phoenix. In his fundraising letter, Haggard thoughtfully provides information for you to donate to his "mission" through the not-for-profit organization Families With a Mission, which turns out to be run by a registered sex offender. Man oh man, Ted Haggard is the gift that keeps on giving.

I have a proposal for all you True Christians out there: Donate to me. I quit my job and moved across the world to help victims of rape and incest. I will soon be applying to graduate school to earn an incredibly helpful masters of public health. I have never committed a crime. And I have not nor will I ever be a solicitor of prostitutes, user of crystal meth, or supporter of pedophiles. If you invest in me, you truly will be investing in a hard-working individual who will dedicate her life to making the world a better place. I'll even set up a foundation at my own expense so that you can write-off your donations. Come on, Religious Right! Put your money where your mouth is and support someone who isn't a hypocrite.

(Side note: Did anyone else think that Levi from Jesus Camp was hilarious when he said that meeting non-Christians gave him the willies? I mean, kid, where do you think your Bible comes from? I'll tell you. It comes from JEWS! And where do you think your name comes from? A Levi is a High Priest in the Hebrew Temple. Your whole identity is full of big fat JUDAISM! Read a book!)

2007-08-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

Bigmouth strikes again. Today is a beautiful day, my friends. First Karl Rove, now Gonzales. The only dark spot is the threat of Chertoff taking his place. Haven't we suffered enough?

2007-08-22T06:44:00.000-04:00

I hate to sleep alone. It's been a while since I posted a pearl of Dan Savage wisdom, but this week offers a truly wise nugget. I offer it as an addendum to this post from several years back. Luckily for me, some things have changed. Unluckily for the rest of the world, most men have not:

What's a good response to the extremely trite, cliched statement, "I'm not good at commitment?"

"Commit to pulling your dick out of me, then commit to getting the fuck out of my apartment."

2007-08-20T16:53:00.000-04:00

The trench is dug within our hearts. If you do a Google search for the words "Israel" and "Darfur," you will find a plethora of links all leading to this article detailing how evil Israel turned away 50 Darfur refugees who illegally entered the country from Egypt. "Israel turns away Darfur refugees" the headline screams. That evil, despicable Israel. What a den of compassionless sin! Apparently, genocide is bad, but Israel is worse.

What these headlines don't tell you is that Israel already has accepted 1,500 refugees with 1,500 more waiting entry (in prison, unfortunately). I've actually seen some of them as they spent shabbat with us in my boyfriend's village. These headlines also don't tell you that the refugees are fleeing Egypt because they are being harassed and, in some cases, murdered.

Let me get this straight. The fact that Israel turns away 50 refugees warrants a CNN News Alert, but the fact that the same people are being murdered in Egypt doesn't warrant coverage? And how come other countries such as the United States aren't volunteering to take in refugees or working with the surrounding nations to iron out a solution if they are all so concerned?

I'm not saying it's a good thing for Israel to turn away refugees. Clearly there needs to be new government policy designed to deal with this situation (and as someone who has spent the last several months working closely with the Israeli legislative process, I will say that you might be waiting a long time for this to get sorted out). Let's put the blame where the blame is due. Israel's refusal to accept 50 illegal immigrants (remember how much we love those in America?) does not a genocide make. And besides, Israel is a tiny country that's trying to work out its own rather hefty problems. Let's see a country with some global muscle do something, and stop blaming the underdog!

2007-08-19T09:26:00.001-04:00

What a wookie. Inexplicably, I have had several discussions about FGM lately, and it seems that the media is following suit. Despite banning the practice nine years ago, Egypt witnessed the second death in three months due to complications arising from FGM surgery. This only underlines my consistent point on the subject: I don't care how culturally sensitive you are or unwilling you are to judge foreign social constructs, FGM is bad.

As much as I disagree with female circumcision, the male version doesn't bother me as much because male circumcision has proven medical benefits. Last fall, reporting on a randomized controlled trial in South Africa, scientists found that circumcision reduced female-to-male HIV transmission by 60 percent because of the susceptibility of the foreskin. "Male circumcision provides a degree of protection against acquiring HIV infection, equivalent to what a vaccine of high efficacy would have achieved," they wrote. It was, they observed, "the first experimental study demonstrating that surgery can be used to prevent an infectious disease." Using the new data, scientists estimate that over the next 20 years, circumcision in sub-Saharan Africa could prevent 6 million infections and 3 million deaths [Source].

Hilariously, anti-circumcision advocates refuse to acknowledge the health benefits of male circumcision, blindly calling the practice barbaric. The most hilarious, in my opinion, is Jews Against Circumcision. After perusing their website for information as to why I should refuse to circumcise my (as-yet unborn) sons, I could find no legitimate medical reasoning to support their claim. I was, however, awarded with this juicy tidbit: "[Circumcision] sets off a ripple of hormonal changes that wire the child's brain to cope with a malevolent world. Males are violent due to circumcision. It is usually boys who go to school and kill people; they are violent since their brains are wired for violence from infancy." So, if circumcision makes men violent, how do you count for all the millions of men who were not and are not circumcised but who are violent? For example, the Crusaders, the Khmer Rouge, and the Nazis have no history of circumcision yet were remarkably violent, arguably more so than Jews. According to their website, Jews are some of the smartest people in the world, holding 33% of awarded Nobel Prizes. Apparently, these people aren't those types of Jews.

2007-08-16T15:14:00.000-04:00

The blindest of the blind. Dear Readers, I pose to you the following question. I received the following CNN News Alerts today. One of these was sent to me simply as an article of interest and the other as a Breaking News Alert, ideally reserved for the most pressing of events. The first discusses a newly-created Hezbollah video game in which children gain points by kidnapping and killing Israeli soldiers. The second, ostensibly more important Breaking News Alert informed me that President Bush's idiot daughter is engaged. Now, Readers, I ask you, do you see these designations of the importance of current events as accurate? Is Jenna Bush's impending marriage (to Karl Rove's ex-assistant, no less) really more important than the brainwashing of children?

This is example #865 of the stupidity of America.

2007-08-13T09:45:00.001-04:00

Promiscuous girl, you're teasing me. If you're like me, and you find those surveys reporting that men have twice the average number of sex partners in a lifetime as women somewhat disconcerting, your suspicions have been confirmed. This somewhat hilarious piece from the "New York Times" claims that those studies which report that men have a median of seven female sex partners while women have a median of four male sex partners are mathematically impossible. It's pretty logical, if you think about it. I mean, what happened to those three extra women the men reported sleeping with? Does the average man buy prostitutes or sleep around? Or are men and women just using the "Rule of Three" so expertly explained in American Pie 2?

When asked, Ronald Graham, a professor of mathematics and computer science at the University of California, San Diego, positied that "Some might be imaginary. Maybe two are in the man’s mind and one really exists." I told you this was vaguely hilarious.

2007-08-13T07:49:00.000-04:00

It's calling out to idiot America. You'd hope that this little controversy would have settled down by now, but apparently Cleavage-Gate is still well under way. Commentators are hypothesizing that Hillary Clinton did this "on purpose" to "soften" her image and up her sex appeal. A candidate as poised as Clinton doesn't slip up and flash Congress by accident.

Why does Hillary Clinton need to defend her womanhood? She's clearly a woman. She clearly gave birth to a daughter. Hell, she went to a women's college. So why does Bill Clinton need to tell "Good Morning America," "I don’t think [Hillary’s] trying to be a man." Yet the media seems to be more and more obsessed with candidate fashion, pointing out the replacement of Hillary's trademark black pantsuit with softer pastel shades! I don't know a thing about her stance on health care or the Middle East Peace process, but at least she's wearing lavender. I'm so relieved!

According to the Catt Center for Women and Politics at Iowa State University, male candidates receive about 5 percent more issues coverage than do females because of this preoccupation with appearance. Research has also shown that winning women candidates are "typically those who are best able to balance stereotypically masculine and feminine images and issues, posing with children as well as in formal suits, and discussing both health care and defense. Those who are seen as too feminine tend to lose races, while those who are seen as 'too hard' work frantically to soften their images." [Source] Basically, the ladies have to prove they are tough enough to go to war but not too tough so that they won't bake you cookies. We don't really care what they have to say; we just care about how they make us feel.

Let's put it this way: Almost every country in the developed world has been represented by women. Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, Israel, Norway, France, Finland, Iceland, and New Zealand (to name a few) have all had female heads of government and even more have had female heads of state. Hell, even countries the United States paints as hopelessly backwards such as Bangladesh, Pakistan, Haiti, Indonesia, Senegal, and Rwanda have had women heads of government. Americans have the opportunity to support a strong, intelligent woman who is an exemplary candidate, yet they can't stop arguing about two centimeters of boob long enough to actually judge her by her merits. We are a nation obsessed with image and incapable of intellectual analysis. This really burns my toast.

2007-08-12T09:11:00.000-04:00

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. We know that presidential candidates like to skirt the issue, but, as this points out, they're avoiding topics we didn't even notice they were avoiding!

I especially enjoy this observation about the United States' "bloated military budget:"

Home of the brave, my ass. What kind of a country needs to spend more money on "defense" than all the other nations on earth combined and is still as collectively paranoid as a cuckolded husband in the throes of an amphetamine psychosis? A huge Military-Industrial complex overcharges taxpayers on a scale that makes the pharmaceutical industry look like Robin Hood. It's the biggest financial scam in human history, but no serious candidate dares to say peep, less he or she be seen as unpatriotic.

2007-08-06T16:43:00.000-04:00

Thank heaven for little girls. I really can't take this crap anymore. This isn't an Amish or Haredi company, either. Oh no. This is a company that seeks to bring back traditional "modesty" by bringing back 19th century swimwear. Apparently this makes us "wholesome" instead of "insane."

Look, I understand why you might want to wear an oversized T-shirt over their bathing suit at the beach. I mean, I hardly ever think I look good in my bathing suit, either. But to bring back this antiquated need to cover women in the name of modesty is just... bizarre.

2007-07-27T17:23:00.000-04:00

She's the face on the radio. In answer to that age-old question of what happens to Communist dictators once their regimes have been overthrown, apparently they go on to have very lucrative careers in fashion. That's right, the former leader of Communist Russia is now a spokesmodel for Louis Vuitton handbags. Maybe that's why communism failed. How good can your political ideology be if your leader goes ahead and turns around and starts endorsing the epitome of capitalism and conspicuous consumption?

2007-07-26T05:47:00.000-04:00

Have no fears, we've got stories for years. The AV Club staff seems to have gone off the deep end with their Simpsons love-in. With the movie opening this week, I guess they can't really be blamed, but the in-depth debate about the show's continued existence is particularly geeky. Not nearly as geeky as the types of Simpsons merchandise out there, of course. "Eat My Shorts" Cereal? Really? But who am I to judge? Apparently The Simpsons is the best cultural critic ever and is generally better than everything else in the entire universe. Pretty good for a 22-minute cartoon, eh?

2007-07-22T15:11:00.000-04:00

She's in fashion. I don't usually argue with the Washington Post, but I seriously doubt that Hilary Clinton was trying to show off any cleavage when she wore this shirt. Here's a news flash: Women have breasts. When women wear v-neck shirts, sometimes some of the tops of our boobs peaks out. This does not mean we are trying to "show off" our cleavage or making a statement about our sexuality. Frankly, the fact that Hilary Clinton's wearing a slightly low-cut shirt warrants news coverage is almost as ridiculous as the media circus that surrounded John Kerry's adoption of the Live Strong yellow wristband.

As a rebuttal to this ridiculous piece, I'd like to point out Slate's recent examination of what happens when Hilary Clinton is insulted. Apparently, it strengthens her popularity among the ladies. I am not sure whether the Post meant to insult Clinton, but the minutia of the exploration certainly made me uncomfortable. In general, I do not enjoy it when I am minding my own business and someone draws unnecessary attention to my femininity. It is inappropriate and unnerving, exactly how this Post article made me feel. Eesh.

2007-07-12T07:32:00.001-04:00

School's out for summer. Augustus Caesar isn't going to like this one bit.

2007-07-11T08:04:00.000-04:00

Take it to the taxman. Listen, people. Stop saying that President Bush should "fire" Dick Cheney. The Vice President can't be fired. He is not a Presidential appointee, he's an elected official. Read the Twelfth Amendment, for crying out loud. We have a written Constitution for a reason!