Fist, a brick in my hand. I'm not sure why, but my step-mother has started sending me what are supposed to be humorous fowards, but are actually thinly-veild portraits of misanthropy. Here's today's installment:

A study recently conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example, if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and tape over his mouth while he is on fire.

Basically, women are hormone-crazed, maniacal bitches who like to set men on fire? I don't know. I guess it's funny. Ha...ha... It kind of makes me want to hide all the scissors in the house and send my dad away for a week each month for his own safety.