She wants the luxury of her own life. I've blogged about this before, but since nobody listens to me, I'll try again.

Brandeis University released a new study, "Gender Imbalance in American Jewish Life," claiming that in non-Orthodox settings, "American Jewish boys and men have fewer connections to Jews and Judaism in almost every venue and in every age, from school-age children through the adult years....Contemporary liberal American Judaism, although supposedly egalitarian, is visibly and substantially feminized."

Feminized? Apparently the ladies are taking over! In the Reform movement, the largest Jewish religious movement in America, Women outnumber men in seminaries, youth groups, summer programs, and prayer services.

And you should be worried! The Brandeis study argues that "men's decreased interest in Jews and Judaism walks hand in hand with apathy toward creating Jewish households and raising Jewish children." No more Jewish babies! Because the women are taking over!

But fear not! Here come the men-only Brotherhoods, men-only barbecues, dare-devil birthright israel trips, and man-centric Passover Haggadahs. Because HaShem knows that the traditional Passover Hagaddah is really misandry run amok.

Personally, I think you can blame assimilation and the break down of the insular Jewish community for the alleged disappearance of men from the Jewish community. Ideal American manhood is not compatible with stereotypical of Jewish manhood. Who wants to be the nebbishy, wimpy Jewish Other when you can be the wealthy, handsome, sexy American Man who gets to fuck the hot shiksah (think Portnoy's Complaint here). Jewish men don't want to maintain a connection to Judaism, and because Judaism is passed down through the woman, marrying a non-Jew is the ultimate rejection of Judaism.

American Jewish women, on the other hand, are embracing their new and hard-won role in the Jewish community. Gone are the days when Jewish women could be cook and wet nurse but nothing more. American Jewish women don't have to sit behind a mehitzah anymore, and you can't make them!

Says Brandeis: "Some suggest that in the Western world, spirituality, especially in more liberal denominations, has become associated with femininity. Others believe that men are reluctant to join organizations unless they can play leadership roles, and with the entry of large numbers of women into synagogue life, there are fewer such opportunities for men."

The fact of the matter is that there is no inherent gender bias in Judaism. The second class citizenship of women in Judaism has everything to do with culture and nothing to do with religious prescription. Stop blaming women for your religious community not looking the way you want it to when, frankly, every sociologist with his (or her) PhD can tell you that women have always been the key sustainers of religious devotion in times of strife. The sooner men realize that women are not usurping their throne, the happier we'll all be.

Does that mean my body must always be a source of pain? While the image of First Lady as the pinnacle of American womanhood is nothing new, this re-packaging of Michelle Obama is really pissing me off. The Obama campaign is doing an image makeover on her to make sure she doesn't appear Like Hillary. She co-hosted "The View" and graced the cover of "Us Weekly" doing her best soccer mom impression. Says a friend:

"[Michelle] is not the least bit interested in being a co-president or participating in policy decisions…Her first priority as a first lady would be that the girls are OK, and to continue to be the outstanding mother that she is."

This would be nauseating without the article's headline of "Why Barak loves her." Why? Because she shops at Target, why else? You didn't think it had to do with her accomplishments, her intelligence, or her moxie, did you?

Of course, the campaign has to wrap her up in traditional gender roles precisely because of her talent. A smart, outspoken, accomplished woman is bad enough, but one who is not only African American but who actively embraces her heritage is downright frightening. Consequently, they "soften" her, "maternalize" her, and basically white-wash her. And I do mean "white." She's coming off as a regular June Cleaver with her pearls and her carpool.

In the context of this election cycle, this development is particularly upsetting. Democratic voters were given the option of the most accomplished black presidential candidate ever to campaign or the most accomplished woman presidential candidate ever to campaign. For better or worse, the black man won. But a truckload of sexism accompanies that progressive victory. If the progress of one group of people comes at the expense of another, is it really a success?

Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry. Today in Disgraced Politician (Celebrity) Sightings:

Eliot Spitzer in Central Park! With special guest star Silda Wall Spitzer! Oh man, was I sitting on a pylon at the right time. I guess Spitzer had just completed a run, and his wife had come to meet him in the park because he was in work out gear and she was dressed for a beach day at the Hamptons. They weren't touching (she actually had her hands in her pockets. Burn!), but they were deep in discussion. My goodness she is a waif, but a waif with style!

Flex our muscles show them we’re stronger than the rest. I don't know about you, but I love these peek-inside-the-Bush-administration tell-alls by ex-Bush cronies that keep coming out. They make me feel quite vindicated. Former Press Secretary Scott McClellan's is a real treat.

Doesn't this excerpt remind you of a certain Democratic golden boy we all know and love?

Ironically, much of Bush's campaign rhetoric (in 1999-2000) had been aimed at distancing himself from the excesses of Clinton's permanent campaign style of governing. The implicit meaning of Bush's words was that he would bring an end to the perpetual politicking and deep partisan divisions it created. Although Washington could not get enough of the permanent campaign, voters were seemingly eager to move beyond it.

Bush emphasized this sentiment during the campaign. He would "change the tone in Washington." He would be "a uniter, not a divider." He would "restore honor and dignity to the White House." He would govern based on what was right, not what the polls said. He would, in short, replace the cynicism of the 1990s with a new era of civility, decency, and hope.

Yes, we can!

Give my regards to Broadway. Today in Celebrity Sightings, Broadway Edition:

A two-day spotting. Everyone's using mass transit in the rain, even the Broadway babies.

First off, Andrea Martin of Hedwig and the Angry Inch and "He was...MY BOYFRIEND!" fame, walking through Grand Central. Everyone is so tiny in person, but she had a great head of hair. Those were some gorgeous highlights, let me tell you.

Second, while waiting for the subway at 34th Street, whom did I spy but Richard Kind. You may remember him from "Mad About You" and "Sin City." He's also appeared in a few Broadway shows, notably "The Producers" and "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels." This is the second time I've seen him wandering around midtown. My goodness the man is pale.

Where's your head at. Seriously, Bush Administration. Tax rebates just ain't gonna cut it.


see more hipster robot webcomics and pixel t-shirts

Like sex on the beaches. How the heck did I miss this? A day celebrating two of my favorite things, and I wasn't paying attention! I guess I have to wait until next year. Boo. I hate waiting.

Link NSFW

If I'm to run the future, you've got to let the old world go. Women in the United States consider the fact 16% of Congress is female (11% less than female representation in the Afghan parliament) proof that we have achieved gender equity? We really are a bunch of stupid, complacent bitches in that case. If you need Hillary Clinton's campaign to remind you that sexism still exists in this country, I don't think we can be friends.

Wake up, ladies! Women outnumber men in the Spanish cabinet 9 to 8, and Spain's defense minister is seven months pregnant. You're still patting yourselves on the back because a measly 16% of Congressional representation is female? Women make up over half the population of this country. Gender equity my ass.

Start talking trash and I'll come with my Smith & Wesson. I always knew that Facebook was a threat to morality, but it turns out it's also a threat to national security.

Online networking. Don't play that game.

I'm coming slow but speeding. I must be pretty desperate if I get excited every time I come across a tidbit where some hard line Christian zealot takes a moderate--or, gasp, even liberal--stance on a hot-button issue. But I think this Newsweek article is actually promising:

[Kansan megachurch pastor Adam] Hamilton wants pro-choice and pro-life advocates to join forces to reduce the number of abortions and he enumerates seven areas where they could find common ground. Let both sides agree that adequate information about birth control can help prevent pregnancy, he says. And let both sides agree that the longer a pregnancy progresses, the more morally problematic an abortion becomes.

I agree! I happily agree! Let's do this!

Then, of course, I find out that my tribesmen are joining the hard line Christian zealot stance on a hot-button issue, and I get all depressed again. A pro-abstinence website for Jewish teens claiming condoms don't work? For shame, Orthodox Union, for shame.

Don't cut out my paper heart. Two things got me through first semester of my senior year of college: My friend Ike (Hi, Ike!) and Stone Temple Pilots. I think I was too young and oblivious in the early '90s to realize that STP got a lot of flack for not being as cool as Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but Scott Weiland's howling on "Tripping on a Whole in a Paper Cup" really made me feel better when I was down. It's sort of a odd choice for comfort, but it worked for me.

I just read a fabulous piece about the enduring awesomeness of STP, and I had to share it with you. Steve Hyden doesn't mention this, but the video for "Sour Girl," in my opinion, is really powerful. Weiland's eyes at sunrise? Swoon! Also, that song scares the crap out of me. But that's another story.

In my Barbie world. Ugh, I think part of me just died after reading this. Read up to the third paragraph on the first page, and you'll see why.

Have we as a society learned nothing from JonBenet Ramsey? Let your children be children, you freaks!

What you wish for won't come true. For the record, my quarterlife crisis won me a scholarship. Booyah!

Other people aren't so lucky.

In her kiss, I taste the revolution. I don't usually like to bestow more attention on these sorts of hate-mongers than is absolutely necessary, but this recent Rush Limbaugh ramble is absolutely priceless:

"You have to understand the mindset of a lot of these feminists and women...These women have paid their dues. They've been married two or three times; they've had two or three abortions; they've done everything that feminism asked them to do. They have cut men out of their lives; they have devoted themselves to causes and careers. And this — the candidacy of Hillary Clinton — is the culmination of all of these women's efforts."

I can't even be bothered to criticize this. It's just too damn funny.

Jezebel gives an equally good ramble in response, citing their "audacious hope that, one day, we can get past this silly paradigm you created in your head when some feminist didn't want to sleep with you because she had 'cut men out of her life.'" It's a little too easy to say that men hate feminists because feminists won't sleep with them, but wouldn't it be fantastic if that's all it was about? All you had to do was go back in time and get Susan B. Anthony to marry that random dude she rejected and Voila! Women would have gotten the vote 40 years earlier (We can't blame Elizabeth Cady Stanton for this because she was married. Also, I'm pretty sure she did not have two or three abortions).

I was a long time coming. It's my blog's five year anniversary!

Talk about committment. Jeez.

I haven't decided yet how I want to "celebrate," so check back here for updates on this "momentous" occasion.

That just my baby daddy. You don't get a lot of marriage advocacy going on these days outside of the Religious Right, but here's a controversial suggestion from Emily Yoffe: Get married, then have babies. Wow!

The rate of out-of-wedlock births among women 23 to 29 is now higher than the teen pregnancy rate. Yoffe argues that women who find themselves pregnant and don't marry the father are putting themselves and their children at a disadvantage both economically and psychologically. Part of what contributes to this problem is the lack of foresight and committment displayed by both men and women. Some of it is a class issue: College-educated men and women are significantly less likely to get divorced than their high school-educated peers.

I would take this a step further and say that a big part of this problem is that people do not use contraception. Whether it's because of a lack of affordable and available family planning services, lack of proper sex education, or discouragment from their social and religious communities, women aren't choosing to protect themselves. Consequently, the rate of unplanned pregnancies among poor women rose 44% from 1994 to 2001.

The problem isn't that people aren't getting married. The problem is that people won't buy condoms. Honestly, I know they're not so comfortable, but it's so much cheaper to buy a bunch of condoms than to raise a kid.

It's freezing in the corner of my mind. There's been a lot of man-hating going on in the wake of the Spitzer scandal. It seems like every woman who writes a blog or talks to you at the gym has used this as an opportunity to spew some serious anti-man vitriol. Really, I think that the Spitzer scandal is just a catalyst for releasing women's pent-up romantic anger. Of course, women are also upset because the governor of New York committed a crime and everything that entails, but there's a personal level to it as well.

To speak in generalities, I think that women look at Silda Spitzer and see themselves in past relationships: They were deceived, mistreated, taken for granted, and in some cases cheated on while they stood by being loving and supportive. Case in point: Silda is a phenomenally talented and beautiful woman, and her husband chose to fuck uneducated whores from New Jersey. To most women, this simply does not make sense. Most talented women who have been treated like doormats by men find their lovers' actions incomprehensible, and Spitzer's decisions are no exception. Modern women posses all the characteristics that are socially valued in men--intelligence, education, ambition, earning potential--as well as the feminine virtues of beauty and warmth, AND YET this sort of shit happens.

I do think that men are the problem. Most of the women I know have managed to find a balance between the masculine and feminine virtues, yet men seem more laddish than ever. You can say that our society is hopelessly Puritanical, and that's why Spitzer's shenanigans are being so derided, but I disagree. I think that women simply refuse to accept this sort of behavior anymore and are more vocal about their shock and disgust. Or maybe women simply haven't learned to accept that men are callous and selfish creatures who will always disappoint them and treat them like trash.

Here's where you go wrong, boys. It's time to grow up.

They don't know it but I'm here to stay. In your face, crappy Lilith article! According to a new Elle/msnbc.com study (my college mentor helped with the research. Pride!), men don't care if their wives make more money. In fact, just 12 percent of men surveyed said they'd mind if their wife earned more than they do, and in general men seemed happy to share the breadwinner role. Furthermore, of the approximately 75 percent of men whose wives did work, only 5 percent wished she was at home because they are "irritated by a wife who is frequently bored or boring."

Huzzah for womanity! I feel there is hope for us smart, ambitious ladies afterall!

Waste me. The Guardian has a really interesting/disturbing commentary about "misogyny psychosis"--the violent, psychopathic hatred of women. Apparently Britain's been experiencing a rash of vomit-inducing violent crimes against women. This goes beyond domestic violence or rape. This is scary Jack the Ripper shit. Even more disturbing and upsetting than the individual acts of violence is the fact that friends, co-workers, lovers, even the police, knew what these guys were up to and did NOTHING. Makes you want to enact that Good Samaritan law from the last episode of "Seinfeld," doesn't it?

Who needs a drink?

Now that the love is gone. Do guys really talk like this? And if so, why haven't I met any who do?