Friday, March 26, 2004

Wanting contact. Sounds like my kind of holiday:

"You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day." Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!"

In passing, do I ever talk about anything else besides sex on this thing? Man, do I have a one tract mind. I need to get a pet or something.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Go now, go. Why "My So-Called Life" is always right, shameless snipped from TWoP:

In the bathroom, Rayanne gently shoves Angela into a stall and says, "You want to have sex with him." Angela demurs, "Who?" "'Who?'" repeats Rayanne, "Jordan! Catalano? Come on, I'm not going to tell anyone, just admit it." Angela leans in and admits, "I just like how he's always leaning. Against stuff. He leans great. Either sex or a conversation -- ideally both." That really is ideal -- she's right.

Amen, sister... and Jared Leto to boot. Such taste!

Friday, March 12, 2004

I am the spark. Sunday I went to see Air in Marseille which was simply amazing, and tomorrow I am going skiing in the Alps. But first, tonight I am going to a big 21st birthday blowout where I will be introduced to beautiful French men. Yeah, you all totally wish you were me.

I promise not to adopt this as my new world view, but it is surprisingly fitting:

I should probably refrain from putting other people's humor in my blog, but really I just can't help it. Is it that I'm not interesting? Not at all. I'm just lazy. This is France, damnit. We're socialists; we don't have to work if we don't want to.