Monday, July 31, 2006

Are you diggin' on me. I was thinking today that we haven't had a good celebrity sighting in a while here on the TL, but during my lunchtime walk the god of voyerism blessed me. Without further ado, I present you Today in A-List Celebrity Sightings:

Joss Stone on the corner of West Broadway and Prince Street, buying a hand-made halter dress from one of those street vendor artist-types. I recognized her right down to her nose stud. Let me just say, she is gorgeous! She dyed her hair a very sexy chestnut brown with red highlights, and goodness is she tall! She also has a great (speaking) voice. I was very excited.

I've noticed that my celebrity sightings are a little like trading cards. I'm hoping to get a Lohan or a Hilton before either of them overdose and kick the bucket.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Someone must get hurt and it won't be me. Dear readers, I am flummoxed. For the first time in six years, I think our shit-for-brains President might not only have a realistic understanding of a situation but, Lord help me, he might actually be on my side of a debate! Check out another infamous oops-the-mic-was-still-on snafu, this time from the G-8 summit:

Apparently not expecting an open mike to pick up his remarks, Bush told Blair: "See the irony is what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s___ and it's over."

Okay, so points off for misunderstanding the meaning of the word irony, but the sentiment is there. Don't blame Israel for defending itself, blame the Syrian- and Iranian-backed terrorist organization!

"What about Kofi Annan?" Bush asked Blair. "I don't like the sequence of it. His attitude is basically cease-fire and everything else happens."

Not being a big fan of many UN policies myself, any jab at the UN's anti-semitic and ineffectual policies are okay with me.

I don't believe I am about to say this--I really don't--and I'm sure my father would answer me with a hearty dose of skeptisim in the veign of "These are bad guys, don't be fooled," but...okay, this is going to hurt...

Thank you, Mr. President.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The #1 Must-Have is that we are safe. Today in Why We Still Need Feminism:

The week continues with the stunningly awful story that's been burned into the brains and bosoms of all who've encountered it, chronicling the "traditional West African practice" of breast ironing. For those out of the hideous news loop, breast ironing involves the use of hard, hot objects (typically stones placed in boiling water) to stunt breast growth in girls, via the rubbing of the aforementioned hard, hot objects across the bare chests of prepubescent females. Devised as a protection against sexual abuse (as girls with scarred, stunted breasts are far less appealing to molesters), breast ironing is apparently freakishly widespread in Cameroon, where Reuters reports one in four teenagers has been subjected to the traumatic process, typically at the hands of relatives worried that the onset of puberty could invite sexual harassment. Never mind that breast ironing carries the "asking for it" argument to a truly horrific end; beyond conceptual offenses, the practice has a slew of horribly tangible side effects, including severe pain, abscesses, infections, breast cancer, and even the complete disappearance of one or both breasts. So thank God for the German development agency GTZ, which sponsored the eye-opening survey that fueled today's news reports, and which is waging a campaign "to respect the physical integrity of young girls." As GTZ representative Flavien Ndonko told Reuters, "If nothing was done today, tomorrow the very parents may even resolve to slice off the nose, the mouth, or any other part of the girl which they think is making her attractive to men." [Source]

This is a prime example of the unwillingness of society to acknowledge men's role in sexual violence. Instead of attacking the problem at its source--namely, the view of the female body as constantly sexually available and not a respectable, autonomous entity--these West Africans have, like so many other cultures before them, decided to place the blame and the onus for prevention on the very victims of arcane and brutal ideology. Until we can retrain men to see women as their equals and not as second-class, sexually available property, violence against women will always exist.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Lift me up when I'm falling. Another great billboard; this one's for you beer-lovers and Jesus freaks:

"The company that leases the billboard believes vandals made the poster at home and then pasted it on top of the ad that's supposed to be there."

Hats off to you, you cheeky fuckers.

Going to the chapel. One of my co-workers just got married last week, and for the past six months all I've heard is wedding this and wedding that. Couple this with a new person I know getting engaged practically every other week, and weddings have seeped into my brain. I have actually started dreaming about weddings! Now, I'm in no way ready to get married, but I have unconsciously started planning mine. Good God, what is happening to me? Am I slowly becoming that girl, the one who has the whole party planned out before she even has a groom? If I do, you are all free to slap me.

However, to keep things in perspective, I present to you the winner of Slate's Unidentifiable Wedding Gifts Contest:

Seriously, who the fuck thought up a CONDOM VASE? If getting married means people buy you atrocious things like a CONDOM VASE, then I guess I will just have to be a spinster.

Is it still possible to be a spinster?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

And they say that a hero can save us. Yesterday in B-List Celebrity Sightings:

A Two-Sighting day, my friends! First, SNL cast member Tracy Morgan on his way into the AMC Theater in Times Square. You know what's coming next: Much shorter in person! He couldn't have been more than 5'4" tall. Also, he looked really haggard, like he'd been enjoying too many wrap parties, if you catch my drift.

Then, after seeing Superman, what did we stumble on outside the New York Public Library but a taping for the new Spider-man movie! Hotness! The scene featured one Thomas Hayden Church of Sideways fame who, if I may say so, really does not look good as a redhead. The whole time we were watching them film this scene (check out Spiderichman's livejournal entry for July 1 to see an impressively comprehensive play-by-play of the scene), I kept thinking of the scene in Sideways where Paul Giamatti is running away from the naked fat guy...I think I am inheriting some of CB's inscrutable thought process. Anyway, it was so much fun and really interesting to watch. I would rather have seen Topher Grace (swoon) or James Franco (double swoon), but I suppose beggars fanboys cannot be choosers.

A Superman-related post script: There is an atrocious grammar error on Lois Lane's Pulitzer Prize plaque. Post it in the comments section, and I'll award you three T.L. Intelligence Points.