Wednesday, August 31, 2005

His truth is marching on. I realize that I am stealing a lot of stuff from the slog, but it is mandatory reading.

I think it is important to "support our troops" and to recognize that they are not unfeeling, unopinionated automatons who blindly follow the will of the Commander-in-Chief. Case in point, here's a blog entry from a soldier shortly after his return to Iraq from leave:

What the fuck has my chain of command been doing? We were winning somewhat when I left. And now we're being pinned down in our own fucking homes? Insurgents are pushing locals out of their homes and taking over my area at will? What kind of fucktarded plan have we been half-assedly executing? Obviously the kind that neglects sound contact with locals. Obviously the kind that gives further distance to unbridged gaps between soldiers and locals. Obviously the kind that has shown enough weakness when confronted by the insugency that it has been encouraged to grow.

Back home (the USA kind) I have no home, no job, and my commander in chief is on vacation (he's about 20 days behind Ronald Reagan right now in the race to become the most vacationing president ever. Hey W! we all got our fingers crossed! Here's to you and two more years of vacationing!). Luckily pretty much everything that is important to me can fit into the back of a truck. Luckily I just paid off one of those.

His blog, One Foot in the Grave, no longer seems to be accessible. But the worst part about this is that he died two days after writing that August 13 entry. I'm sure that some Pat Robertson extremist cleric-type would claim this death as divine retribution for daring to contradict the will of the President, but, frankly, it's just sad.

Monday, August 29, 2005

It's the only way to live, in cars. Let me be succinct: Stop driving your gas-guzzling SUVs so that it doesn't cost me friggin' $35 for half a tank of gas! I'm going broke because Americans are selfish assholes who are obsessed with size and style over function and practicality.

And it's only going to get worse.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Boogie-woogie bugle boy of Company B. At first glance, it does look like the Blue is sucking it up, but I'm not sure my knee-jerk reaction stands up on closer inspection. Either way, it's an interesting comparison.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

It's the end of the world as we know it. I realize that everyone is already aflutter over Pat Robertson's zeal for assasination, but I'm gonna jump on the band wagon just the same. Atrios and The Slog have some good discussions going about it. The award for Best Post-Robertson Embarassement Comment Made By Republican Congressmen goes to U.S. Senators Norm Coleman, Republican of Minnesota, and Mel Martinez, Republican of Florida, for calling Robertson's comments "incredibly stupid."

But back to Robertson himself, this guy is more fucked up than I thought. He not only blames gays and feminists for 9/11, blames gays for no-fault divorce laws, believes feminism is witchcraft, and recently said that liberal judges are a bigger threat to the United States than Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda. BUT, and this is my favorite, HE BELIEVES THAT GAY PRIDE PARADES WILL CAUSE EARTHQUAKES, TORNADOS AND POSSIBLY A METEOR!!!! I'm not kidding.

Monday, August 22, 2005

When the moon is in the seventh house. Here is my inane observation o' the day. I like that onanism is a classy word for masterbation. Language is awesome!

Also, go see "The 40 Year-Old Virgin." Best movie ending Ev.Er.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Shake it all up. To add to the list of ridiculous things I see while walking around Manhattan, on one of the lower tracks at Grand Central there are two posters right next to each other. One is for "Revelations," that creepy NBC apocalpyse show about a nun and Bill Pullman (Oh NBC, why do you have to abandon yourself to the Religious Right's siren call?) The other was for Harvey Fierstein starring in "Fiddler on the Roof."

If you don't see why I think that's funny, you officially don't have a sense of humor.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Hush. Shamelessly stolen from the slog:

Tired of the same old shoot-'em-up, mow-'em-down, rape-'em-to-death video games?

ABC News reports on the forthcoming wave of Jesus-friendly games, brainstormed during a recent conference of the Christian Game Developers Foundation.

"I think the majority of gamers out there just want to play a great game," said the group's leader Ralph Bagley. "They don't really necessarily need intestines hanging on a doorknob."

Among the non-intestinal offerings cited by ABC: The Bible Game, in which players race across the Red Sea to fight Goliath with a slingshot, and Catechumen, in which players use swords to convert Roman soldiers to Christianity to cries of "Hallelujah!"

Relatively harmless stuff, but if Christian game makers really want to compete in the marketplace, they're gonna have to amp the action quick. How about "Clinic Kaboom," where gamers blow up as many Planned Parenthoods as they can?

Full story here.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

God bless the child that's got his own. Okay, I know I'm this big feminist and I majored in WOST, equal rights, etc. but I gotta say, being pretty is awesome! Today's example: I went to a gourmet deli to get a sandwich and the owner gave me a free iced coffee. I have no idea why. I told him I didn't want an iced coffee because I was trying to cut down on my caffeine, but he gave me one anyway. This isn't the first time this has happened. I've had people give me extra cookies or undercharge me for things just for being good looking. In these instances, my sense of moral outrage is diluted by my intense frugality. I'm telling you, you can go anywhere in this world by being attractive and personable. Up with inequality! It saves me money!

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Everything in its right place. Is it existential drama? Is it inane rubbish? Make of it what you will.

Grunge: Somewhere out there are people with beer, chips, and pickles, and here I am at a rest stop alone with my doom.

I twitch and I salivate. So here is something I legitimately want feedback on, especially from all you Y-chromers out there. I'm thinking that TV and movies have lied to us. The days of simply meeting people in person are over. No one goes up to a random, attractive stranger and starts up a conversation. I'm starting to think that, aside from blind dates, online dating is the only way to meet someone. Of course, the drawbacks are that you walk into said relationship with the expectation that, at some point in the very near future, the two of you will be naked together. The other problem is you look at the person's profile and you start dreaming up what they might be like. But actually the person you're dreaming about is your fantasy mate, and you're just hoping said internet person matches your fantasy. You end up entering the whole thing with a set of expectations that you might not normally have if you met said cyber partner in person first.

So what do you think, cyber space? Has dating gone technological, or should I keep my faith in reality? Post thy thoughts below...

Thursday, August 04, 2005

It feels like some sort of inspiration. Random things I saw yesterday while on my way here and there:

  • On my way to the bank, I was driving behind this old Camry whose back bumper was covered in stickers from these crazy death metal bands like Cannibal Corpse and Exhumed. All the band names had blood dripping off them. The best was Goat Whore, which actually depicted a woman entangled with a goat. I was quite amused.

  • At the Wachovia ATM stand in the Times Square Subway station, someone had removed the "via" part of the sign. I never wanted a camera phone so bad in my whole life.

  • I've been looking at rooms and such to sublet on Craig's List, and I found a post where this guy who wasn't in town much wanted three "young female roommates" to live in his apartment (he would sleep on the couch for the few days each month when he was in town), "escort" him to functions when he was in town, and... I can't paraphrase it. It's too funny:
    In addition, also looking to have the little time in New York as fun as possible as I have no time for social life at all. Hopefully, roommates would be open to possible additional fun things while I'm around, such as occassional massage, walking around in lingerie, and just some minor enticements. I am not looking for sexual favors, just enticements that would make living in my apt. fun for that one week a month. Be as creative as possible as I will simply listen to offers.

    For $200/month, it's not such a bad deal. Heh.

  • Tuesday, August 02, 2005

    It's no good waiting for the sun. "There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their discomfort like a favorite shirt."

    Am I complacent?

    Gonna burn this goddamn house right down. Okay, okay, okay, wait a minute. I was looking for jobs at Bust (for those of you who don't know, Bust is an indie feminist magazine that should create a position just so I can work for them...but I digress), and I noticed that they have personals. I'm thinking, "Why in the crap does Bust have personals? Do men actually put themselves on Bust personals?" And shock of shocks, they do. How about that. So I start looking around for my feminist life partner when I notice that I AM TOO FAT FOR ALL OF THE MEN ON THIS DAMN SITE. Yes, these men want women 5'6"-5'11" weighing not more than 130 lbs. I haven't weighed 130 lbs. since middle school. I AM TOO FAT TO DATE MEN WHO PUT THEMSELVES ON A FEMINIST WEB SITE! What. In. The. Fuck.