Saturday, December 13, 2003

It's the most wonderful time of the year. In honor of the dreaded week, I have posted the following:

Top Ten Signs That It Is Finals Week

10. You've lost ten pounds because eating just isn't as important as cramming for philosophy.

9. You haven't cried this much since your rabbit ran away in the fourth grade. Or last finals week.

8. You convinced a nurse's aide to set up a red bull IV drip for you.

7. The librarian asks you to leave because your snoring is disturbing the other sleepers. Students. I meant students.

6. None of your friends has gotten through the week without a) getting high, b) getting plastered, or c) getting so wired their heart beat as fast as a hummingbird's.

5. You are almost run over by a woman who is talking on her cell phone and trying to study off a book precariously balanced on her steering wheel. You spend the rest of the day angry and depressed.

4. ...because she missed you.

3. You forget what you look like without a pen tucked behind your ear and your collection of scantrons/blue books in hand.

2. You get six hours of sleep daily... none of them at night, and none of them for more than two hours at a time.

and the number one sign that it is finals week:

1. Come Saturday, you're going to start weaning yourself off of caffeine. You'll start by cutting down to three jolt colas and a triple espresso.

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