Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Got a rocket in your pocket and it's straight to the top. Okay, this is equal parts horrible and hysterical, so I'll let you be the judge:

Q: I know it is summer right now, and I should be feeling happier than ever, what with my senior year of high school to look forward to. But there is nothing for me and my girlfriend to do really. Our birthday was just a few days ago (Yeah, we have the same birthday, but I'm 18 and she's 17 now) and I think it might just be after-birthday-nothing-left-to-celebrate-till-christmas-blues. Anywho....any suggestions as to how we should waste our summer vacation? Or how to get out of this slump of depressing boredom?

A: may i suggest pre-marital sex? as an 18 year-old dude, i am sure you can get a bone 10 times a day, and fucking is novel enough that it won't get boring before school starts up again. fucking is pretty much free (aside from the cost of birth control/profos/etc, which is not that bad if you go to planned parenthood.) if it does get boring try ANAL SEX, or SWINGING. i promise you, it will be a summer to remember. this goes for all of you on the internet, too. before you go read the drudge report or whatever the fuck you guys look at, try fucking. it is way more awesome than not fucking. it is even more awesome than homestar runner (i am not lying.)

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