I'm the center of attention in the walls inside my head. I currently have a dog in my lap. Is there anything better in this world?

In honor of the restful break I've enjoyed, I'm in the mood for lists...

Things I love, in no particular order (I am omitting the obvious like friends, family, world peace, etc.)

• Act two of "Pirates of Penzance"


• My dog, except when he growls at me


• Self-proclaimed male feminists


• Winter sports (e.g. skiing)


• PBS


• MoMA's fifth floor


• Slave to the Grind


• Dan Savage


• Diesel Sweeties


• Books!


• New CDs


• Singing in my car...but only when I'm alone


• VH1, especially VH1 Europe


• My hometown public library's DVD collection

Things I Hate, in no particular order (omitting the obvious like war, fascism, sexism, Republicans, etc)

• Maroon 5


• Anything involving Bush (this includes Texas)


• Men who lack self-confidence and take it out on me. At the same time, players.


• "The Speech." Seriously, the next time I hear it, I'm just gonna peace on you.


• Dust bunnies


• Breast implants


• All ads for medication (Yesterday I saw one for breast implants, and I felt violated)


• That painful first day


• Waxing profound. Just be stupid. There's no shame!


• Love handles, especially on me


• Single-blade razors. What's the point?


• Grammar mistakes, especially those involving punctuation and "entitled" versus "titled."

Gonna speed it down and slow it up. Shamelessly stolen away message:

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."

The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be, sugar?"

The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."

The teacher fainted...

Fabulous! I think that if this whole self-sufficient career thing doesn't work out, I am going to aim for marrying rich. I think it's a perfectly valid Plan B, even if I am a WOSTie.

I hope you dance. My two favorite people just combined to make three! A new little boy in our wacky, extended family...I could just cry for joy.

Too much tripping and my soul's worn thin. From Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho:

"Why is it that men only think about sex, instead of doing what you did with me and finding out how I feel?"

"Who said we only think about sex? On the contrary, we spend years of our life trying to convince ourselves that sex is actually important to us. We learn about love from prostitutes and virgins; we tell our stories to whoever will listen; when we are older, we parade about with much younger lovers, just to prove to others that we really are what women expect us to be.

"But do you know something? That's simply not true. We understand nothing. We think that sex and ejaculation are the same thing and, as you just said, they're not. We don't learn because we haven't the courage to say to the woman: show me your body. We don't learn because the woman doesn't have the courage to say: this is what I like. We are stuck with out primitive instincts, and that's that. Absurd though it may seem, do you know what is more important than sex for a man?"

I thought it might be money or power, but I said nothing.

"Sport. Because a man can understand another man's body. We can see that sport is a dialogue between two bodies that understand each other."

"You're mad."

"Maybe. But it makes sense. Have you stopped to think about the feelings of the men you've been to bed with?"

"Yes, I have. They were all insecure. They were all afraid."

"Worse than afraid, they were vulnerable. They didn't know what they were doing, they only knew what society, friends and women themselves had told them was important. Sex, sex, sex, that's the basis of life, scream the advertisements, other people, films, books. No one knows what they're talking about. Since instinct is stronger than all of us, all they know is that it has to be done. And that's that." (257-258)

I want you to take me out. Update on my life in the wake of finals and in the long lull of wintersession. Yes, it is just so... yeah...

JBL: Good. Crushes on you are in fact the correct way to go.