I pieced into the girl I long to be. I've never been one to look in fashion magazines and compare myself to all the airbrushed models. I've certainly had many an I-hate-my-body moment, but never because of a magazine spread.

And then I saw that new Victoria's Secret commercial for the push-up bra without padding or whatever newfangled contraption promises flat-chested women a generous C, and Oh. My. God. I am not a bad looking woman, if I do say so myself, but Gisele Bundchen? HOT. If I buy the matching bra and panty set and break into a mansion and strip off my black gown and start strutting around, can I look like her? Because if so, sign me the fuck up! I want Gisele Bundchen's body in an unlesbian, body dysmorphia sort of way. This may make me a bad feminist, but fuck all you haters ragging on me and my new supermodel body-hottness.

This is probably a good indication that I've been watching too much television. GRE words, anyone?