Right here in town. Today in Random Things I Saw While Walking To Work:

1) This total douchebag sporting a Michael-Jackson-circa-Thriller red and black leather jacket was mucking around on a skateboard (!!!) this morning when he sort of tripped off it. It skidded out into the middle of Spring Street right as a Verizon telephone repair truck was cruising along and...SMASH. Death to skateboard! The hipster douche was rather put out, much to my joy and amusement.

2) One of the guys who works at the hardware store on Spring Street near Ben's Pizza on Thompson (or is it Sullivan?) commented to his hardware store employee buddies that I had a fat ass. Granted, my ass is rather shapely, but I would not call it fat. I will have to take a poll on this. Does this look like a fat ass to you?

T.L. 1, NYC 1.