The number one must have is that we are safe. I can't believe how messed up this is, but I am actually creating my first (and hopefully last) Rape Round-up. Apparently the gods of female exploitation have been working overtime for the Holidays as I have read three high-profile news items on egregious incidents of sexual assault today alone. Awesome, men of the world. Way to go.

• First, I'm happy to give you another reason to hate Halliburton, the Iraq occupation, and the U.S. government in general. A young Texan woman went over to Iraq to work for Halliburton subsidiary Kellogg, Brown & Root, only to be drugged, gang raped, severely beaten, then locked for 24 hours in a shipping container so that she would be unable to seek medical care or contact the authorities. She managed to wrangle a cell phone away from one of the men guarding the container and called her father in Texas, who contacted his local Congressman, who contacted the State Department, and finally she was freed. Conveniently, the rape kit performed by Army medical personnel has disappeared. Over two years after the attack, the Justice Department has still not pressed charges in the case because all government contractors working in the Green Zone--and paid by your tax dollars, don't forget--are effectively beyond the reach of U.S. Law. If this doesn't make you furious, you have no soul.



• Next up, we have the billionaire playboy who enjoys travel, casual wear, and massages performed by underage girls. Basically, Jeffrey Epstein paid hundreds of underage girls from the "wrong side of the tracks" in West Palm Beach to massage him naked while he molested them with sex toys or simply had sex with them. Neither Epstein nor the U.S. attorney can figure out how these actions are criminal.



• Least you think that this sort of disgusting behavior and willful ignorance is an American problem, our Aussie friends don't seem to get it either. In the case of a 10 year-old Aboriginal girl who was gang raped, none of the nine rapists were given a single day of jail time because the judge found that the girl "probably agreed" to have sex. Apparently the judge--a female judge, no less--has never heard of statutory rape because, the last time I checked, 10 year-olds are not capable of making informed decisions when it comes to sexual intercourse. Not to mention that the victim is developmentally disabled, having been born with fetal alcohol syndrome. Jesus.

Who else needs a drink?