You want one true lover with a thousand kisses. Happy V-day, all! Does any holiday provoke as much angst as Valentine's Day? All that anxiety about finding a mate or pleasing your current mate, and the disappointment when none of it works out, can make you want to hide under your bed with a Whitman's Sampler and wait for it all to go away. Apparently, this is when people are at their most aggressive when trying to find a mate/date/one-night stand. No one wants to be alone on Valentine's Day. Except me; I really don't care. Why? Because I would rather be single on V-day than desperately trying to wrangle a date or convince my beau to romance me. Fuck it, I'll take the Whitman's Sampler and a good book over that kind of stress, thanks very much.

Also, I'm glad I'm not tangling with this type of bullshit. So funny! So pathetic! Hurrah for St. Valentine!