Wednesday, July 23, 2003

School's out for summer. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to anything that the current administration does. We bomb the pants off of Iraq but ignore North Korea and Liberia. We lower taxes yet increase spending in what my father calls "no tax and spend" (as opposed to the evil Democrat plan of "tax and spend," get it?). What the crap are these people doing? Why are Jon Stewart and the Onion the only reliable news source (except for PBS. I want to have PBS' baby)? What the hell is going on here??? AAAAAAHHHH!

But enough of this foolishness. Here's someone else's foolishness for a change, courtesy of our good friends at the Onion.

Bush Not Heard From For Over A Month
WASHINGTON, DC—Beltway insiders and members of the media expressed concern Monday that President Bush has not been heard from for nearly five weeks. "I hope he's okay," said Secretary of State Colin Powell. "It's just like him to go off on a fishing trip to Alaska or something and not tell anyone. Which is fine. I mean, he's the president and can do what he wants and all that, but we kind of need to wrap up this whole Liberia thing we started." White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan admitted that he was unclear about the president's whereabouts, but figured he must be "off somewhere busy with something."

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