Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I'm curious about you. I have a bone to pick with music critics: Why don't you write coherent reviews? About halfway through my tenure as Arts Editor for the News, I noticed a disturbing trend in both the articles submitted to me for publication and reviews I was reading in such publications as "Entertainment Weekly." Gone were the coherent, well-articulated descriptions of what an album or artist sounded like. Such clearly-written critiques were substituted with bloated, buzz-word jargon that only an insider or an obsessed fan could possibly understand. Take, for example, a recent review of Nelly Furtado's new CD in the AV Club: "'Promiscuous,' the first single, follows suit with gleaming synths shot through a long, luscious hook." What the hell does that mean? I have this single on my iPod, and I've listened to it countless times, and I still have no clue what a "gleaming synth" or a "long, luscious hook" could possibly sound like! What happened to terms like "bass-line" or "lyrics?" Music critics are simply juxtaposing as many two-dollar words as possible in the hopes of sounding erudite yet cool--the epitome of snobbishness. Also, lay off the the alliteration. There is no excuse for deeming a song off the new Keane album "tritely positivist pap." For shame.

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