Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Make 'em laugh. According to "Vanity Fair," women aren't funny. Who knew? I certainly didn't get the memo. Apparently I was born with a penis I never noticed because I am certainly funny. In fact, I would say that I am much funnier than my boyfriend, and he would probably agree with me on that. My female friends are all very funny. In fact, most of the women I know are hilarious.

But, no, we must be wrong because women are not funny. Why aren't we funny? Because all we think about is reproduction, and reproduction makes you serious:

For women, reproduction is, if not the only thing, certainly the main thing. Apart from giving them a very different attitude to filth and embarrassment, it also imbues them with the kind of seriousness and solemnity at which men can only goggle.

Apparently, not relishing piss and fart jokes means women have no sense of humor. All of the intelligently humorous women out there, even the ones who do enjoy body function jokes, are automatically disregarded. I'm sure Jane Austen, one of the best satirists in English literature, would appreciate that.

In case you have any doubt as to the veracity of the woman-aren't-funny axiom, Christopher Hitchens uses Rudyard Kipling's poem "The Female of the Species" as supporting evidence. Apparently, verse by a notorious bigot is all you need to support your thesis.

This is what I like to call "convenient journalism." It doesn't require any research or basis in reality; it's just based on one person's limited view of the world. It's like if Jerry Seinfeld started writing magazine articles instead of doing stand-up.

"Ever notice how men are douchbags?" There's your next headline, "Vanity Fair."

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