I'm into you. Get into me. Current status: Drunk! Wooo! Current mood: Angry/ freaking out/ fucking horny. But this is funny:

E: ...I think I'm kinda drunk
L(Y): Eh? How so?
E: Cuz I am drinking, and I think I started ovulating today, which would explain my sudden fluctuation in appetite.
L(Y): Heh. Just came off that estrogen high a couple days ago
E: Why must I eat so much when I ovulate? Why God, why? Why must I become fat so as to disgust potential mates? Seems antithetical. That's it! It's a sign! God does not want me to breed!

Also, this is retarculous, but cute:

E: Is your internet still broken?
Gwax: Yup. Hopefully it'l be better soon
E: Boo. I want da photos. Cuz you are cute. And I am cute. So cute+cute=2cute
Gwax: Oh man, I like you and I love you and I'm in love with you and I miss you
E: Cuz I turned us into an algebra equation?
Gwax: No, just in general
E: Oh. I thought it was nerd love.

Like puzzle pieces from the clay. Can I get out of my Arthurian Legends midterm for being too sexy to take a test? Please? Can someone write me a note?

Gabbro: So yeah, I have to look at Geoffrey and the handouts. That sounds like a band name
E: Geoffrey and the handouts! My favorite 1950s rock n' roll band
G: AHHHHH!
E: I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING!!!
G: dude!
E: I know
G: Geoffrey and the handouts, live in concert
E: woooooo! I've got my lighter
G: I've got my overpriced crappy band apparel
E: awesome! We are total fangirls
G: *squeals*
E: *tries to storm stage*
G: *hurls her underwear at the drummer*
E: I love you, Nennius!

I'm just a box in a cage. Hélas!

As you can tell, I have been reading too many 17th century French tragedies. Corneille has infiltrated my brain with his theories on la gloire masculine et l'immortalité. But I do get to go to a sex toy workshop with Bartonio in an hour. Huzzah! Happy V-Day to me!

In other news, I have decided that if you don't know what NOW is, you should be shot for crimes against sisterhood.

In other other news, I have decided I should be shot because every time I go to a meeting, I volunteer for something. Hence I am now co-chairing the decorating committee for the last day of classes. Why must I always be busy? Curses!

Who's the one to blame? Word. Fucking word, T!

I believe most Americans voted for John Kerry. I believe the exit polls that indicated a massive Kerry landslide. I believe Americans saw through the Republican propaganda machine and rejected it. I believe the heart and core of America is guided by a deeper and better wisdom than what the cynics tell us. All interpretations of this so-called Bush victory brand us as cowards, bigots, or idiots. I don't believe their analysis. I don't believe their results. I don't believe that gender panic and "moral values" caused Americans to vote for more war, more torture, more corporate power. I don't believe Americans turned their backs on the world. I don't believe Americans care only about American casualties. I don't believe we have closed our hearts to the suffering of others. I believe Americans have a capacity for compassion and generosity, for heroism and self-sacrifice that puts to shame all the warmongering and fearmongering of the current regime. I believe the great legacy of 9/11 was the immediate sense of community and connectedness and willingness to understand the rage against America. I believe that glimpse of universal brotherhood, not the march to war, was the true face of humanity. This is my article of faith. This is my faith-based opinion. This is my gut instinct.

Mine, too.

Moving up slowly. *Shrug* Makes sense.

You scored as Lust. Lust 56% Pride 38% Sloth 31% Envy 13% Gluttony 13% Wrath 6% Greed 6% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

Does everyone here do the same? Thank the lord Natalie Dee noticed this. I thought I was taking crazy pills.

I'm the center of attention in the walls inside my head. I currently have a dog in my lap. Is there anything better in this world?

In honor of the restful break I've enjoyed, I'm in the mood for lists...

Things I love, in no particular order (I am omitting the obvious like friends, family, world peace, etc.)

• Act two of "Pirates of Penzance"


• My dog, except when he growls at me


• Self-proclaimed male feminists


• Winter sports (e.g. skiing)


• PBS


• MoMA's fifth floor


• Slave to the Grind


• Dan Savage


• Diesel Sweeties


• Books!


• New CDs


• Singing in my car...but only when I'm alone


• VH1, especially VH1 Europe


• My hometown public library's DVD collection

Things I Hate, in no particular order (omitting the obvious like war, fascism, sexism, Republicans, etc)

• Maroon 5


• Anything involving Bush (this includes Texas)


• Men who lack self-confidence and take it out on me. At the same time, players.


• "The Speech." Seriously, the next time I hear it, I'm just gonna peace on you.


• Dust bunnies


• Breast implants


• All ads for medication (Yesterday I saw one for breast implants, and I felt violated)


• That painful first day


• Waxing profound. Just be stupid. There's no shame!


• Love handles, especially on me


• Single-blade razors. What's the point?


• Grammar mistakes, especially those involving punctuation and "entitled" versus "titled."

Gonna speed it down and slow it up. Shamelessly stolen away message:

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals."

The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be, sugar?"

The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."

The teacher fainted...

Fabulous! I think that if this whole self-sufficient career thing doesn't work out, I am going to aim for marrying rich. I think it's a perfectly valid Plan B, even if I am a WOSTie.

I hope you dance. My two favorite people just combined to make three! A new little boy in our wacky, extended family...I could just cry for joy.

Too much tripping and my soul's worn thin. From Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho:

"Why is it that men only think about sex, instead of doing what you did with me and finding out how I feel?"

"Who said we only think about sex? On the contrary, we spend years of our life trying to convince ourselves that sex is actually important to us. We learn about love from prostitutes and virgins; we tell our stories to whoever will listen; when we are older, we parade about with much younger lovers, just to prove to others that we really are what women expect us to be.

"But do you know something? That's simply not true. We understand nothing. We think that sex and ejaculation are the same thing and, as you just said, they're not. We don't learn because we haven't the courage to say to the woman: show me your body. We don't learn because the woman doesn't have the courage to say: this is what I like. We are stuck with out primitive instincts, and that's that. Absurd though it may seem, do you know what is more important than sex for a man?"

I thought it might be money or power, but I said nothing.

"Sport. Because a man can understand another man's body. We can see that sport is a dialogue between two bodies that understand each other."

"You're mad."

"Maybe. But it makes sense. Have you stopped to think about the feelings of the men you've been to bed with?"

"Yes, I have. They were all insecure. They were all afraid."

"Worse than afraid, they were vulnerable. They didn't know what they were doing, they only knew what society, friends and women themselves had told them was important. Sex, sex, sex, that's the basis of life, scream the advertisements, other people, films, books. No one knows what they're talking about. Since instinct is stronger than all of us, all they know is that it has to be done. And that's that." (257-258)

I want you to take me out. Update on my life in the wake of finals and in the long lull of wintersession. Yes, it is just so... yeah...

JBL: Good. Crushes on you are in fact the correct way to go.

Another head aches, another heart breakes. Do guys really think like this? And what if you were that girl to someone, but he still can't take it? It seems to me that this guy forgot one thing: You have to be man enough to handle it when said dream girl comes along.

from a guy, on dating

Date: Tue Dec 07 15:02:11 2004

Why does he disappear?

Most likely, he's not a complete asshole. He saw something about you he liked, and wanted to date you. Like others have said, sex can only sustain a relationship so long - for me it's about 1 night, if that (generally I'm not interested in hooking up with girls who I don't see as potential girlfriends). There's got to be something going on mentally - emotionally.

You guys have to be able to have a good conversation - and what you think is a good conversation may not be the same for him.

You've got to be the girl that he goes and raves to his dad about. The girl that, when hanging out with you, he goes to the bathroom and text messages his friend "I'm in love" about. The girl he brags to his GIRLfriends about. The girl whose picture he looks at every day, secretly looking around his office to make sure nobody's standing behind him.

You've got to be the girl that he can't WAIT to take home to meet his parents. The girl that he fantasizes about doing things with - going away, going out to eat, going to the library. The girl that makes him see a hot girl, and think "man, I'm so glad I'm not going to feel bad about not being with HER" (because yes, every time we see a gorgeous woman we feel bad that we're not with them).

You've got to be the girl who he brings to his office party, introduces you to his coworkers, then pretends he's annoyed when they tell him the next day how nice and how beautiful you are, and how cute the two of you are together (though he's secretly loving every minute of it).

You've got to be the girl whose name he searches for on his computer and in his email account, hoping he'll find something that he wrote to his friend about you (or better yet, an old email from you). The girl whose old emails and notes he reads again and again. And again and again.

You've got to be the girl he dreams of spending money on. The girl who makes him feel like material things are irrelevant. The girl who he makes a mixtape for - and when you make one for him he cherishes it forever - and tries to find hidden meanings in the songs, their titles, their order.

You've got to be the girl that makes him hide in the bathroom at work, quietly sobbing, when he thinks things are going bad. The girl that makes him stay at work much later than he should, because instead of meeting his deadline, he's writing craigslist posts about you.

I'm sorry, when I started this, I truly intended it to be a guy's views on dating. Instead it turned into me rambling on about the girl that I don't have, but dream about.

But I'm sure that every girl is that girl to someone.

You're still a superhot female. Misogyny is the epitome of uncool, unattractive, and crappy. This is everything I hated about high school and then some. Assholes.

E: it's exactly what i hated about high school.
I: High School = suck
E: yes, but I was outspoken and strong and smart and self-confident; erego, I was an outcast and treated in exactly this mysogynistic manner
I: Booo
E: BUT I will win because I am awesome and they suck. Inherently so. So, uh, ha!
I: you already are winning
E: I am?
I: They are all jizzmops
E: Jizzmops! Wow. That's just...wow. That's like a step below jizz, below the jizz left on the nudie booth, below the guy who has to mop up the jizz. The mop itself!
I: exactly
E: you're tough
I: nah, I just learned the word 'jizzmop' somewhere
E: but still. I quack with fear
I: I honk with authority.
E: I'm still impressed

This shit is bananas. This is beautiful in design but bizarre in production. Marvel and recoil.

I can see it in her eyes. Teeheeee...

Woman: Having sex with him was the same as eating a slice of plain Wonder bread while looking in the window of a Crate and Barrel.

--York & 70th

Her dizzy head is conscience ladden. The internet is truly priceless, especially during finals:

TV Catch Phrases That Weren't.
BY RICHARD LONG

- - - -

Hawaii Five-O
"Book him, Danno!"
Original: "Beat him, Danno. Beat him good."

Hill Street Blues
"Be careful out there."
Original: "Watch out for black kids."

I Love Lucy
"Lucy, you have some explaining to do."
Original: "You moron! You'll have me deported."

Good Times
"Dy-no-mite!"
Original: "Dy-na-mite!"

Spiderman (animated)
"My Spidey senses are tingling."
Original: "I'm getting an erection."

Outside, inside out. Reason #509776 that L(V) is a goddess who, for some inecplicable reason, shares my karma. In this case, it's regarding the sorry state of our computers:

L(V): between the two of us were like a ricky martin music video
L(V): beer
L(V): and hot wax

And

E:------ and i ---- 5 times in less than 24 hours
L(V): That seems to go against the laws of physics
L(V): and chafing

Also, this is just funny:
T: Well, not everyone can be as gloriously straightforward as you
E: HAHAHAHA. Oh man. I think I've gotten worse
T: You attacking men on the street now?

And
T: Because of this story, I am now hesitant to be a rock star
E: Um, I don't think you were in danger in general
T: I was about to be discovered
E: Of being a jerk? I already knew that
T: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I got served
E: Snap!

If you were wondering if I was procrastinating by talking to people online and then transcribing the conversations here, well, you'd be right.

Can you fill me in? This isn't funny, and yet it really really is:

What happened to all the romance? I wondered as I walked up the hill, through the campus of the Stevens Institute of Technology — which, it should be noted, Sinatra attended for one-and-a-half semesters — to have a few minutes with my favorite view of Manhattan. It is a beautiful spot, with plenty of nervous nerdy young scientists to keep you entertained, especially if you're thinking about sex. Is that one with the nice hands getting laid? He doesn't like me watching him, or maybe he does, but has yet to learn how to make eye contact. The high geek factor is a turn-on for a perv like myself. Is it their innocence? The fear in their eyes? Am I just a maniac? Having occasionally dabbled in geekdom, I have learned that they're inclined to masturbate more than your average college student, and sometimes even in the library. Is it wrong that I find that sexy?

Okay, I'm not saying that I agree with this. It's just...I don't spend much time thinking about MIT masterba-trons, but I definitely know about the fear in their eyes. If you ever need to feel hottt, just walk down the Endless Corridor in a low-cut shirt. I swear you'll feel like Marilyn Monroe in five seconds flat.

I'd pay a ransom note to stop it from steaming. In honor of finals:

E: I used the word cacodylic in my essay. 15 million points! I'm using it in reference to a Dadaist painting. "The cacodylic eye." It's in my poem
I: ooooh
E: See, 15 million points for the word, then 15 bajillion points for an obscure Dadaist reference. If I can pull off lacuna as well...ooooooh man. It'll be the paper to end all papers
I: And umpty-illion points for putting it in a poem at the end of a paper for WoST about going to a strip club
E: I WIN! They should give me a parade
I: If you were at Chuck E. Cheese's, the machine would spit out so many tickets you could buy, like, a cruise boat or something.
E: wow

And, because I am cheeky, "So let it be written. So let it be done."

Take your troubles away. Here's my random, nit-picky complaint of the day: I HATE when there's a really REALLY hot guy in the dining hall and he's with some woof girl. Seriously, where's the justice?

Yes, dear readers. Finals have arrived! La la la la!